11:06... David Chow suffers from Saturday morning lectures.

On arrival at lectures this morning, I was confronted by a familiar face, The Wanted Criminal Bjoern Holzhauer. I was already late for the lecture, and had hoped that my tardiness would save me from assassins waiting for me. He seemed a little ungrateful (considering that I'd previously left gifts in his pigeonhole) and shot me several times with silver bullets, resulting in immediate death.

The Wanted Criminal Bjoern Holzhauer reports:

If you've got dull 11am lectures on saturdays you might want to stay in bed. At least David should have as I put all six shots from my cap-gun into him when he arrived outside the lecture theatre.
This was most tragic seeing as it reduced the pathetic number of visitors to this lecture even further.
A real shame that.
Nobody ever saw me.

13:55... Slaughter in King's College: Constantine (Sarah Przybylska) kills Guiding Light (Roger Benson) and Vindicare (Michael Cripps), before being cut down by Callidus.

So, the Binford Mafia (Vindicare, Guiding Light & Callidus) went to Keynes for the 10th time. This was starting to get routine, which proved to be our downfall. We went through the list of our targets in Keynes, and no-one was in. Well, one more to try. Of course, they won't be in either. Unfortunately, not only was she in, but she came out with gun blazing. Before even identifying her visitors, she shot Vindicare and GuidingLight throught the heart, despite the fact that no-one had any visible weapons.

During all of our excursions to King's College, never have we had the misfortune to find someone come out their room shooting. We have had lightsabers, but never a torrent of lead. Hence, the Binford Mafia were completely taken aback when a screaming Harpy burst forth from the very jaws of hell and loosed off two shots with a pistol.

Uuuuugh! What can I say?! Keynes building is FULL of assassins, we'd been there soooo much that we were a little too cool, calm, collective and splattered. It was like: Knock-knock. Click-cuchunk. Bang! Bang! I wasn't even holding a weapon! Let this be a reminder to anyone left in the game, people are getting pretty darn trigger happy. Think about it, you're paranoid as hell.
Anyway, my darkened soul retreats in the face of the sun's light of day. My shade finds shelter in the passive eaves of my home of old. Unarmed my shadow will no longer be cast withing these hallowed halls. All that remains of my glorious four kills is a forgotten memory of blood and death. The foul stench of pestilence fills the nostrils of any who would come to claim my life. And I tell you this one thing. I WILL RETURN. Unfortunately for me there is no Guiding Light at the end of the ethereal tunnel but a misty nothingness brought on by the bloodstains on my hands and the abyss shall torture my haunted visage for eternity.
Or at least until next round.....

I pointed out to her that as you can only shoot armed people or outlaws, she would now be wanted. Furthermore, I pointed out that since she was both an outlaw and holding a weapon, it was perfectly fine for me to kill her. Which I did, slitting her gut open with my concealed knife.

Umpire: In fact, as you were actually there to try to kill her, she wouldn't have been wanted.

Ha! Eat that foul harridan-spawned nightmare from beyond the void thing!!

And so justice was done, although the numbers of the Binford Mafia are now substantially reduced and the staircase of Keynes, King's College is now a lot redder than it was. My two kills last week faded into oblivion as the pure jet blackness enveloped me and the last words I heard as I slumped from consciousness were "Well that was an anti-climax..."

16:00... The Red Fox kills Vlad Vais.

On Saturday October 20th, the Red Fox, master of deception, donned the disguise of a CUSU representative questioning freshers about their opinions on the organisation of Fresher's week to lull first year Queen's student Vlad Vais into a false sense of security.
He was more than willing to answer my questions, and openly told me that he was a member of the assassins when I asked him which societies he'd joined!  As the survey came to its conclusion, so did the life of this naive Fresher. I drew a knife from my bag as I thanked him for his time and said "Oh, by the way, I'm in the assassins too," and with an apologetic look, I stabbed him in the chest.  He stared at me in disbelief as he drew his final breaths. Hmm, such a waste of a young life...

18:00... The Midnight Badger shoots Alex Stevenson.

Jonny Quest killed Richard Smith.

It is with great pride that I report the death of Richard Smith. Taking my beautiful assistant along for the ride, I took the cunning, and if I dare say it myself, dastardly ingenious step of going to his room and banging on his door. Anyway, the encounter went something like this:
JQ: (rattling handle) Are you going to let us in Chris (NB- remember his name was in fact Richard)? It's Steve.
RS: OK. (opens door)
JQ: click. click. click. (my sodding "Detective Special" misfired three times. Luckily, RS very sportingly waited patiently for it to work). Bang Bang Bang.
By the way, if maintenance is listening, the carpet may need replacing.
Then back home to the bar and cheese toasties all round.

21:15... Patrick Bateman offers a few verses on the fate of Christopher Wood.

Left for dead and dead for good,
Such is the fate of Christopher Wood.

I found him tonight sat at his PC,
Seemed to be happy, until he saw me.

Armed with my gun; drawn, pointed at him,
Soon to be dead, like his friend Tim.

No time for playing, no time for games,
I pulled the trigger, it burst forth with flames.

Left for dead and dead for good,
Such is the fate of Christopher Wood.

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