PC Unity killed Edwin "Kiki the Ferret" Thomson.

I went to check up on Jon Mills, the recipeint of yesterday's letter-bomb, to see if he was killed, and to finish the job if necessary. He wasn't in, but I got into converstion with a girl on the floor below, who tricked me (not that hard) into showing her the dagger I was going to use. She then stabbed me and revealed that she was PC Unity.

14:13... Casaubon, Jack Vickeridge double-killed with Professor Jenson's Slightly Magical Wig, Robert Hiersemenzel.

Hearing a knock on my door I asked who it was. The reply was "It's Tim. I have a pathetic excuse to try and get you to open the door." and so I said hold a moment and searched for my weapon. I opened the door carefully, called out to the form retreating down the stairs, who approached me. We shot simultaneously and are both dead.

Having sent evil poison previously, Professor Jenson's Slightly Magical Wig decided that today it would be time to visit his friend Jack personally and check that it had in fact killed him. Heavily armed, The Wig set out, and 2/3 protocol points worked pefectly: at 2.13 pm The Wig gained entry to his target's fortress by secret means known only to few, and also got him to open his door. At that point, however, things started to go wrong: as Professor Jenson's Slightly Magical Wig rushed at its foe with its assault- rifle, he suddenly produced a Compressed Plasma Dispenser, and in a burst of flames and free energy, the entire corridor and room were destroyed, including The Unfortunate Wig. The Professor had failed to warn its Wig of the existence of such weapons, knowing that they had been outlawed in 1903, and having 4 out of the 5 that had not been destroyed in his private collection. But death is only a small obstacle on the way of The Wig to success, The Wig does not need its own body to accomplish its goals...

Hmmmm... Sinister.

Even in death, Kiki the Ferret's work kills on... Ceinwen Williams opened the wrong letter, as did Jon Mills.

Ceinwen Williams got a letter containing some Cadbury's drinking poison. She may wonder at the reference to sticky stuff, as I planned to cover the outside with Pritt-stick ("The only major glue that kills with one touch"), but she shares a pigeonhole with someone else, so that plan was added to the letter going to Jon Mills, who also had poison inside the letter (and, for extra sneakiness, a small musical letter-bomb).

Jon reports:
My days of being an assassin, albeit a pretty rubbish one, are over. A very elaborate poisoned letter deposited sometime yesterday in my pigeonhole proved too much for me and I died a gruesome and painful death. Credit is due to Kiki the ferret for his finely crafted delivery complete with a pritt sticky outer, some brown stuff inside (cocoa powder i think/hope) and a very untuneful happy birthday ringer. It was all too much for me...

19:00... Mario Sainz-Martinez commits suicide.

What? Already? Thought it was next week. Never mind, move me straight to the police list (way too much work, and crap weather).
From the ashes of The Afghan Warrior, consumed by the Evil Fire from the Netherworld is born... Murray, The Invincible Demonic Skull!
Mwahahahahahaha! Tremble mortals, for I am the harbinger of your doom. The Forces of Darkness will applaud me as I stride through the gates of Hell (er... alright then, ROLL through the gates of Hell) carrying your head on a pike. I bring you warning from the Infernal Realms: do not go further into Jesus College. Turn back, turn back! Darkness will envelop you! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jonathan Hills became the first incompetent to be culled by PC Bun Bun.

PC Bun Bun has dispatched the Wanted Incompetant John (Wiseoldman) from Corpus. I walked up to him as he was walking home from formal hall, pulled out my knife, and slit his throat with said knife, spilling blood on his gown and suit. Needless to said, John is dead. It was quite nifty.

David Lano was next, shot by Sicaria.

Three of us waited with bated breath for the Incompetent List to come out so we could go out on a long-awaited killing spree. It did, and we did.
Rose Crescent, Caius was the first stop. Entry was gained by the tried and tested method of pressing a random buzzer and hoping for the best, and David Lano was despatched by me when he told me to come in on hearing a knock on his door.
The other wanted man three doors down was out, but we were told he might be in Harvey Court.
So we went to Springfield, where he wasn't. And Harvey Ct, where he also wasn't.

Main Page | Other news 13th | 14th | 15th | 16th | 18th | 19th | 20th | 21st | 22nd | 23rd | 24th | 25th | 26th | 27th | 28th | 29th | 30th | 31st | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th | 8th | 9th | 10th | 11th | 12th | Last updated at 13:00 on 4/11/01.