This morning 15 silver wrapped pieces of chocolate from an anonymous
Swiss chocolate factory arrived in my pigeon hole as an advance
for my contract on wanted criminal Josh Robinson.
So once more SWAT Team Biscuit set off and once more it was successful.
In fact it truly was a mercy killing: he didn't seem to have any
biscuits left in his room.
By the way, the remaining 15 pieces of chocolate better turn up in my pigeon hole soon, or...
Having found that my intended, wanted, target had mysteriously dropped dead that morning, I moped around after church looking for someone to kill. One of my companions at lunch was firing a missile weapon around alarmingly, even saying that it would be his weapon of choice were he an assassin. Naturally I felt it my civic duty to supress this dangerous activity. Unfortunately (for him) the only thing I had to hand was my gun. Oh well.....
On thys, the eleventh day, of the eleventh month, but well past eleven
o'clock, I dyd set forthe once more, to deswoy the Evil that doth Reside
I dyd visyt the abode of one [[Matthew Johnson]], and theyr did I emplayce one Lettyr of great cunning and Artifice.
Not onlie did I cover the reverse of thys Lletter wyth a most Foul and Noxious substance. But I dyd also cunningly and cleverly emplace a Detonator of great and Deadlie magnitude, whych will speak forthe the momente He doth remove said Note.
By thys Methode, I wyll clense the Evil.
Having entered my room through the other door, and hence completely failing to notice the note pinned to my door until I left for dinner, might have explained my laxness in checking for any trickery. My senses hadn't entirely left me though, since I carefully used gloves and ensured I did not ever directly touch the possibly poisoned note. These precautions were useless however, considering my killer had used a bomb instead.... The note was signed "Pope John-John the 13th", and I would like to point out to Mr Pope that leaving a note with the words 'DIE DIE DIE' plainly visible through the back of the paper, is possibly not the best idea ever.....
Matthew Johnson's relatives wish it known that he was also spoken of as "Felix Jaeger", "Callidus" and "Culexus".
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