Lent 2001 Police Headquarters

Live Police

We had rather an active force this game - the most active ever, I believe. Here are the few who made it:

Name and Rank: College: Address: Water weapons:
The Chief of Police and Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Generalfeldmarschall Herr Kolin Pöwell Mario Sainz-Martinez Jesus Chapel Court 6, Room 1 No
Mission: To bring Infinite Justice and Enduring Freedom to the entire world, by whichever means necessary. To stamp out corruption, and the mafia infestation which lies at its root. To reform the Police, converting it into an efficient, well-armed peacekeeping team. To lead the SWAT squad whenever swift, hard, and effective justice needs to be delivered. To eat lots of donuts.
Supervised multiple SWAT raids, resulting in the elimination of a number of incompetents, wanted criminals and even corrupt police officers. Most notably, gunned down murderer Kirika in a duel, personally set up and executed the corrupt Edith the Hutt, killed mafioso criminal Ghost Of, and shot incompetent Neil Morrison. Has, since his promotion to CoP, cleaned up the Police Force of suspected corruption, renewed its arsenal, and started a major campaign against organised crime which has so far resulted in the alleged annihilation of the Binford mafia. Wounded in the line of duty. Also executed Alex Cairnes. Caused James Bowe to be at ground zero of a small nuke. Made the entire police force wanted for two days, resulting in the death of four, three of whom were attacking him. Also killed Michael Cripps and Johnathn Hogg in person.
Assistant Chief Cath Een Edward Clayton Emmanuel Q5 No
Umpired the duel between General Powell and Kirika. Helped set up PC Edith the Hut. Very active SWAT team member. Successfully defended against Potato Cripps. Killed Elisa Barchellos. Killed David Rufinio. Was party to the slaughter of 78 innocents.
Leaders of the SWAT Team
Executive Officer (XO) Oberstleutnant Herr Hans Örangen, Divisionschef Dschungelkriegsführung Tom Forster St Catharine's I13 No
Provided valuable support to the CoP. Led the firing squad for Michael Cripps. NB: The other two leaders of the SWAT team didn't quite make it to the end in the right state.
Agent Wages of Sin Ric Brackenbury Selwyn M21 Full
Caught Yu Liu, killed Lara Crow. Also notable for sterling service keeping Jenny Hellfire competent.
Agent Trustworthy James Osborne Jesus T3 With Care
Executed Mike Cripps and Peter Mcintyre.
Agent Bulldog Daniel Drodge Emmanuel U9 No
Killed Mark Reid, also a mean shot with a carrot. Was mainly responsible for the slaughter of 78 innocents. Believed to have been driven to it by Mario, and bribery.
Agent Marwood Bramwell Jolyon Winstam Games & Puzzles Potentially fatal allergy to chili and very "hot" food stuffs - do NOT use! No
Killed Susan Law.
Agent Fully Inflated and therefore Very Spiky Pufferfish Rosemary Warner Caius K18 St. Mary's Court With Care (computer)
Shot Simon Sprague.
Agent Bureaucrat Päivi Pasi Newnham Peile 302 No
Fridged Scott Boham
Bobbies on the beat
PC Philosopher James Bowe Churchill 51A With Care (computer)
PC ECGA Robert Hiersemenzel Emmanuel Room 15, Blantyre House, 24/28 Glisson road No
PC Kenny Sam Blackburn Girton (Engineer) F1a No

Note that this year, we were only really interested in police who would take an active role in the game, and police were also subject to incompetence.
To be honest, the CoP was making police wanted for incompetence, just to keep things interesting, when they ran out of incompetents.

Corrupt Police

Strictly speaking, all the surviving police except the CoP were also corrupt, but the only deserving case is quarentined below:

Name and Rank: College: Address: Water weapons:
Support Officer (SO) SWAT Mascot Impossibly Fluffy Innocent Killer Bunny of Doom Jenny Chase Girton (Physical Natsci) F28 No
Killed Liam McClean. Accidentally blew up a bedder. Ate Jonathan Gee. Was neither made wanted for excessive innocence, not executed for such. Devoured Robert McNeilly. Ate William Walter. Killed Jacob Collins, but was prevented from eating him by numerous spectators. Wanted for aiding and abedding the wanted criminal Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky, accepting bribes from ALOHA! for setting up Marwood Bramwell, getting the Chief of Police drunk, bribing the Umpire, having PC Private murdered by a German psychopath, calling the CoP a bastard, supplying information to various mafias, suggesting the use of weaponry dangerous to innocents (PC Fish and Cripps, indirectly causing the deaths of many people with goatees), witholding information from other officers, use of contact poison and dangerous dentistry.
Generally agreed to be guilty as hell.

Dead Police

There were a few of these, too:

Name and Rank: College: Cause of death:
Chief Jenny "Avada Kedavra" Chase. Girton Murdered by Kirika
The purpose of the police force is to protect and to serve the innocent. I hope you will feel safer knowing that we exist, and will talk to the CoP about any matters which concern you. My door is, in a strictly metaphorical sense, always open and I would like players and other police to regard me as friendly.
Has survived numerous threats to her life, and was responsible for bringing Mafiapro to justice.
Organised Crime Liason Officer Avada Jenny "Why can't we all just get along?" Chase Girton Died in action leading the team in a successful raid against the persistent irritation and wine appreciator Matthew Lohse.
Killed Harriet Groom, Amanda Fallon, Carlos Ludlow- Palafox, Richard Bradbury and Sandra Leaton Gray. Also Evelyn Knight, who was discounted. Blew up Stephen McIntosh and Catherine Hall. Very active SWAT team member and gatherer of information.
Chief Inspector Morse, Head of the Telegraph Directorate Tom Forster St Catharine's Killed by Tim Blanchard during a SWAT raid.
Finally rid the world of PC Big Gary, then eliminated the equally troublesome Mike Cripps. Killed Darren Price, too. Also blew up Jamie Collinson.
Agent Borge W Gush, Tim Underwood Emmanuel Double-killed with the corrupt PC Confused
Executed the corrupt PC Policepro. Helped kill an incompetent. Killed PC Confused.
Leading Agent of the Free World David Knipe Trinity Shot by Johannes Nordström, while camping
Removed Jenna Spellane
PC Shunt Simon Hunt Corpus Christi Murdered by Matthew Lohse
PC Mabel Philip Bustin Corpus Christi Lost a firefight with Matthew Lohse
PC Rowenio Matt Rowen Corpus Christi Murdered by Robert Ludlum
PC Synaptomys Cooperi Daniel Kenyon Jones Emmanuel Took the law into his own hands, and died for it.
PC Gnomial Scott Boham Emmanuel Shot by Styx, after being mistaken for an armed lunatic.
PC Private Investigator Sam Blackburn Girton Killed during the removal of Matthew Lohse
PC Investigator Sam Blackburn Girton Poisoned rather posthumously by Stephen Ingram
PC Private Sam Blackburn Girton Now has a Holzhauer number of 1.
PC Raymond Hu John's Ma Baker's contact poison
PC Double 'O' Pigeon Ralph Clark Pembroke Shot by Taz
PC Fluffy Bunny, David Rufinio Selwyn Caught in crossfire, while assisting a suspected mafia
PC Vash the Stampede Jonathan Hogg St Catharine's Killed by Matthew Johnson during a raid.
PC Esra Ym Drofnib Hannah Burton Trinity Shott by Hamm while trying to kill Roger Benson.
PC Samuel L. Benoit G. Sunset Vicedo Sunset G. Babylon M.AcGyver Jackson Sammo Matlock Hung Juan Ramiresh Quincy C. Ironside from Shpain Neil Morrison Trinity Killed by Taz
PC In the Dark Neill Smith Trinity Hall Shot by James Wright while (illegally) planting a bomb
PC Edith the Hut, James Bowe Churchill Executed by General Powell
Corrupt - conspired to kill the CoP. Also responsible for the death of three in a nuclear accident in Eastern Australia.
PC Edith James Bowe Chuchill Shot by Agent Vash
Attempted to shoot the ACoP and OCLO - was defeated by their illegal target status. Believed to be rampaging. Killed a bunch of innocents.
PC Bob James Bowe Churchill Left at ground zero by General Powell
For being a lazy git who wants attention and the Kenny Award. For comissioning fake evidence of the CoP's corruption.
PC Phoenix Rebjoern Daniel Grundy Corpus Christi Shot by Agent Vash
Wanted for: Aiding and abetting wanted criminal Matt Lohse, Providing false and misleading information to a Police official, Incompetence ("I have no time to kill him")
PC Ludlum Matthew Lohse Corpus Christi Committed suicide during a raid on Mario.
PC Cooperi Daniel Kenyon Jones Emmanuel Shot by Matthew Johnson after his bombing raid
Wanted for masterminding the use of illegal explosives in unduly large quantities, and thereby endangering innocents.
PC Confused Tom Withnell Emmanuel Double-killed with Agent Borge W Gush
Wanted for supporting a known mafia, in connection with a death in New Hall.
Agent WI Wikiwiki Scott Boham Emmanuel Fridged by PC Bureaucrat
Eliminated Neill Smith. Killed Tim Blanchard. Not currently in posession of a full set of limbs. Wanted owing to Mario's madness.
Agent Exquisite Corpse Alex Cairnes Games & Puzzles Caught by General Powell, while fleeing justice
Attempted to verify the Umpire's immortality - the messy way...
PC Policepro William Walter John's Executed for corruption by PC Borge W Gush
Corrupt to the Baby Seals
Agent Horseshoe-shaped-thingy, Head of the Vice Squad Stuart Moore John's Erased by Generalfeldmarschall Kolin Pöwell
Provided valuable support to the CoP. Wanted for:
  • Failing to believably attempt to kill any of 4 incompetent residing within 20 metres of his room.
  • Failing to even bother finding out about an incompetent in his own staircase.
  • Staging a rather lame fake attempt on Jenny Hellfire
  • Disarming a bomb on Jenny Hellfire's door
  • Attempting to cause a schism in the Police Force
  • Conspiring to murder the CoP
  • Being unarmed when on-duty
NSA 4g3n7 Johannes Nordström King's Caught out by Al "Quiche Eater"
Wounded in the line of duty. Removed Superlord. Wanted for killing far too many innocents 'by accident' to be convincing... And another one... Oh, he shot David Knipe, too.
Commanding Officer (CO) Generaloberst Herr Karl Vash, Wächter des geheiligten Sauerkrauts Jonathan Hogg St Catharine's Shot in the back by General Powell.
Veteren of many a SWAT raid. Killed James Bowe. Eliminated Daniel Grundy. Removed the Dr. Kimble nominee Matthew Lohse. Wanted because Mario went nuts.
PC Hamburgler David Chow Trinity Shot by Bjoern Holzhauer
Wanted for theft and blackmail. And lots of bribery.
Agent Dove Peter McIntyre Trinity Hall Shot by PC Trustworthy
Killed James Wright, having fought him many times. Wanted owing to Mario's madness.
PC Dark Neill Smith Trinity Hall Removed by Agent WI Wikiwiki
Wanted for: Aiding and abetting former wanted criminal Mike Cripps, Assisting in the distribution of pro-mafia propaganda, Threats to the Police, Belonging to the highly illegal Binford Mafia.
PC Potato Michael Cripps Trinity Hall Removed by Inspector Morse
Wanted for participating in the death of PC Vash, and the wounding of General Powell, also for cooperating with a known criminal, and with the Binford Mafia. Dangerous. Also wanted for: Attempting to corrupt fellow officers, Being a mad psychopath, Shooting innocents, Complete lack of subtlety.
PC Fish & Cripps Michael Cripps Trinity Hall Executed by firing squad - led by Agent Orange
For the deaths of approximatly 5 innocents, and for use of contact poison.
PC Michael B Good Michael Cripps Trinity Hall Shot in the back by General Powell
Wanted for feeding information to a rampaging psycopath.
PC Karl Marx Michael Cripps Trinity Hall Shot by PC Trustworthy
Wanted because Mario went mad.
Agent Reider Stigest Simon Sprague Caius Shot by Agent Pufferfish
PC Vengance Will Be Mine Harriet Groom Downing Executed for incompetence by Agent Avada and a friend
PC Ug Gug Naji Ashry Emmanuel Executed for incompetence by The Internationally Wanted Top Terrorist
PC Alashandra Susan Law Games & Puzzles Out-drawn by Agent Marwood Bramwell
PC Nocturne Michael Anderson John's Shot by Flash Cougar
PC Blue Parrot Cake William Walter John's Eaten by the Innocent Bunny
PC Fruit, Commuter division Martin O'Leary John's Impaled by Vash
PC Grandmaster Flash Stephen Shorter John's Blown up by Yak
PC Big Daddy G Jonathan Gee Magdelyn Eaten for incompetence by Innocent
PC Plod's Evil Twin Ian Maddison Pembroke Poisoned by Mr Chives
PC Nicely Nicely Chris Ogden Pembroke Executed for incompetence by Poisonality
PC midnightBobbie Lewis Westbury Sidney Sussex Blown up for incompetence by Agent Avada
PC Fluffy David Rufino Selwyn Executed for incompetence by Chief Cath Een
PC Godfather Tim Blanchard Selwyn Executed for incompetence by Agent WI Wikiwiki
PC Phoenix Lara Crow Selwyn Shot by Agent Wages of Sin.
PC Big Gary Richard Nicklin St Catharine's Finally executed for incompetence by Inspector Morse
PC Hawks Yu Liu Trinity Executed for incompetence by Agent Wages of Sin
PC Hanch Sandra Leaton Gray Wolfson Executed for incompetence by Agent Avada