The Assassins' Guild: Michaelmas 2007 Elimination Game Awards
For various achievements and entertainments, the following awards are presented:
- The Holzhauer Award for Psychopathy:
- Jacob Samuel Corteen, for downing a fairly impressive fourteen players, mostly due to not dying on Day Two.
- Also Unhinged:
- Marcus Felix Ulrich Theil, who brutally slew eight.
- The Lemming Award for the First to Die:
- James Moran, slain over breakfast by the morning post.
- The Robocop Award for Killing Wanted Criminals:
- Philip Q Bielby took down two of these doers of dastardly deeds, despite going corrupt.
- Also The Law:
- In fits of zealous vengeance, David Williams and the slightly demented Matt Green inflicted the ultimate penalty on their murderers.
- The Maximus Decimus Meridius Award for Best Fight to the Death:
- Michael Donaghy and Steven Shenton fought to the bloody end.
- The 'I Shot the Sheriff' Award for Butchering Cops:
- William 'Twillo' Brooks went a bit mad but also took down the corrupt CoP
- The Mario Sainz-Martinez Award for Cowwuption:
- Simeon Bird proved you can never prepare for the worst police blunders - by shooting a fellow.
- The Butch Cassidy Award for Most Doomed Killing Spree:
- William 'Twillo' Brooks truly went out with a bang.
- The Sundance Kid:
- Elaine Oliver slimmed down the opposition in the duel, but eventually bit off more than she could chew.
- The Dr Kimble Award for Surviving the Longest Time on the Wanted List:
- Alexander Atkins didn't die for several days, then ran away, but Catherine Flavelle lasted 5 days and 22 hours despite frequent hunts and visits by police, players and even the Umpire
- The Kenny Award for Dying Far Too Many Times:
- Jack Shotton managed to get himself shot three times in one day
- The David Duffit Award for Secrecy and Deception:
- Philip Bielby 'retired' then shot Ben Weaver and got involved in the Big Sheila Firefight in which no one present was playing (honest).
- The Laurel And Hardy Award for Most Amusing Double-Act:
- Laurence Watson and William 'Twillo' Brooks, both for the Old Lady incident,
and the 'show and tell' trick.
- Morecambe and Wise:
- Simeon Bird and Philip Bielby for refusing to let age get the better of them and showing the kids how to do it.
- The Darwin Award for Death by Stupidity:
- Simeon Bird for being on the
phone to the umpire to find out if he was alive, being stabbed in the leg
and announcing he was dead, and then failing to capitalise on being alive by being killed properly.
- The David and Goliath Award for Best Giant-Killing Activity by a New Player:
- Elaine Oliver somehow took down Jacob Samuel Corteen in the duel.
- The 'Ginger Cake' Award for the 'Smoothest' Kill:
- Simon Abernethy managed to take out both his assailants despite slipping onto his arse in the process .
- The Three Hours Early Award for Paranoia:
- Jacob Samuel Corteen acted suspiciously around everyone, even people who weren't playing.
- The Reversed Burden of Johannes Award for Unintentionally Killing Innocents:
- The Umpire still hasn't forgiven Simeon Bird for shooting a Fellow!
- The Catherine Zentile Award for Least Innocent 'Innocent':
- J Doe
as ever seemed to be running various subversive factions within the guild, without actually playing
- Also Dodgy:
- Steve McCann walked around with a colourful thing under his jacket, and moved threateningly towards various people.
- The Brutus Award for Best Betrayal:
- Emily Yerby not only betrayed the entirety of Sheila, she also got it wrong and proceeded to compound her wickedness by shooting all of LARP too
- William 'Twillo' Brooks shot everyone at lectures, including several allies
- The Concerned Citizen Award:
- Philip Bielby got plenty, as far as everyone was concerned.
- The Yellow Streak Award for Running Away:
- Laurence Watson deserved this if just for his hair; however, he also ran away from practically everyone, even in the duel where he fled to a balcony and cowered for over an hour
- Also Custardy:
- Michael "Which way to Burrell's?" Wallace, just because
- The Richard Gibson Award for Marksmanship:
- Kate Hosking somehow managed to repeatedly miss Jake Samuel Corteen from extreme close range
- The Gary Lineker Award for Sportsmanship:
- RC Assassin was a true gentleman and insisted the duel went ahead without him when it became apparent he wouldn't be able to make it.
- The Obfuscated Tutorial System Award for Silliest Pseudonym:
- Withheld, but an honourable mention to the co-ordinated efforts of the N W A
for the most amusing reports:
- Withheld. Falling standards in todays schools, literacy at its lowest levels in sub-saharan Africa since Churchill, etc.
- Jacob Samuel Corteen was awarded an MA this term for his high-quality performances in this and several other games (MW06, 07, Triads)
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