Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Week 3 News

Thursday, 7 February

[13:40 PM] Nick Plummer (Pheeleep Beelbee) will regret arguing with the Royal Mail over his Guaranteed Overnight Dispatchment.
Guaranteed Overnight Dispatchment reports:

13:40 I headed over to the Geology department, aware that Nick Plummer might be having a lecture at 14:00. Fortune was on my side this time, as I saw him as soon as I entered the department. So I walked up behind him and bang-killed him.

Someone else may have got Philip Bielby, but at least I got Pheeleep Beelbee.

[20:00 PM] Benjamin Weaver (A) is finally taken down, not even a counter-vertical carpet bomb could save him this time! Angua scores the win for the Police.
A reports:


Amy de Molay, thou art avenged.

The Policeman with Absolute Motion reports:

There was an unfortunate evil in this land that was plaguing my sense of morals and decency! I called out for a mighty alliance and the people who rose to the challenge were brave and fearless. Maybe they had bitten off more than they could chew in coming to aid me but we were as intrepid as ould be. Amy Booth, Dan Craik and Alicia Danks were to act as one and unite against this evil that was plaguing our land. We then left Amy at the bottom of the great mountain and we then proceeded to climb its mighty heights to the top. We spotted the wretch climbing down to the base of it and took an alternative route down, pausing as we saw Simeon P. Bird BA Hons CANTAB wandering around the court. I then heard Ben climbing up the stairs, so I blasted him across the chest. It appeared his evil magic had reached new levels as he had cast a spell to animate his corpse after Amy shot him. This was not too problematic as his corpse fell to the floor a second time and stopped moving.

Little Miss Police Officer reports:

Dear Mr Umpire,

Wouldn't want to risk being naughty, so I guess you ought to know that I went along with Amelia Booth when she rather brilliantly shot Mr Benjamin Weaver from round a corner. I didn't do anything noteworthy though.


Friday, 8 February

[11:00 AM] J Doe keeps us up to date with proceedings
J Doe reports:

Thanks for umpiring and for keeping the peace. So eventually the time, encouragement, weapons and plottery that Joshua Blanchard Lewis, Will "the nemesis of all things purple" Brooks and I have been pouring at new people over the past few weeks and months has become critical enough for them to get big hits incl. alone/while such as us hid in sidestreets so as to enhance their capacity to Disappear in the event of Savage Pursuits if the kill went wrong or there was more than 1 of the big bastards around. Benjamin Weaver did cause a setback and loss of confidence among the "fresher operators", but that has now been reversed with the iron lady pwn Jacob Samuel Corteen, Guaranteed Overnight Dispatchment pwn Nick Plummer, Angua pwn Benjamin Weaver. Damn UNSPECIFIED_INDIVIDUAL for being Sheilamaf, but still... :)

Simeon Bird reports:

As Ed should know better than most, there are no mafias in Cambridge.

[13:00 PM] Elaine Oliver kills Steven Shenton (Quinn Mallory) and nearly kills DI Love
The Policeman with Absolute Motion reports:

Dear umpire,
Today I saw Luke Richard Bennett walking out of unspecified_lecture and then saw miss Jennifer Berry so went up to say hello to her. I then left another lecture and I saw Steven Shenton and Colin Love leaving as they failed to spot Elaine Oliver across the street. I decided to follow them and see what happened. She came up behind Steve and shot him at which point Colin drew his gun so Elaine shot him.

Elaine Oliver reports:

Dear Mister Umpire

Steven Shenton is dead, mwahahaha. I shot him at 4 past one this afternoon as he was leaving an unspecified location. Unfortunately as I was killing him, another person drew a weapon on me. Not knowint their identity and thinking that perhaps it was another target, I shot at them and I think I hit them in the arm. They unfortunately turned out to be Police, though I am not sure what their name was. Also present was your Chief of Police, Mister Brooks, though he didn't get shot. As far as I am aware, nobody was wearing a hat.

Yours, Elaine

Luke Richard Bennett reports:

11:55 today Came out of UNSPECIFIED_LECTURES today and was walking through the general area with the CoP about 10-15 metres in front of me. Knowing I was there, and seeing Jennifer Berry, he ran over to her, shouting her name, and alerted her to my presence. Knowing that her ally Steven Shenton was nearby, I ran away, since I didn't particularly like my odds against them.

DI Love reports:

Upon leaving my lecture on Mill Lane at around 13:00, who should I see but the Chief of Police! I discussed the latest rampage of assassins and his good job in killing off that noted murder Ben Weaver as we proceeded to leave, accompanied by Steven Shenton.

Glancing behind me, I saw a girl approaching. Believing her to be a Dame that Done Me Wrong, (or possibly someone who'd gone wanted and was trying to assassinate The Policeman with Absolute Motion,) I drew my pistol. I then realised she was attacking Steven and concealed it whilst she fired a rubber band gun into his unprotected back. She then shot me in the arm. A little to the right and I'd have been dead.

It turns out that Chief Twillo was in on it. Apparently got the hots for that dame. Eleanor, if I recall correctly. This was obvious when he tried to persuade her to shoot me to get my security code. Well, I wasn't having none of it. I ran. I just hope the evidence I put forward will be enough to prove the chief's corruption.

The Umpire wishes to clarify that police should not effect the game for live players unless in the line of duty of killing an incompetent or wanted live player(and only affecting that player).

If the Umpire finds out that police are deliberately trying to set up live players then any incidents may be annulled and the police in question made corrupt or removed.

[17:00 PM] Monty Karl was out lurking for Yer Ma, I'm beginning to worry about him.
Monty Karl reports:

While Elaine's neighbours were to be found in vast quantities, she wasn't.
Monty Karl heads elsewhere for fun :(

[18:51 PM] William Brooks tells us about his evening.
William Brooks reports:

Since becoming corrupt I have been having a whale of a time! I sat having dinner close to Lmm and then I went to have a party with Dan Craik. They both thought letting me live was a good idea because I am so Phearsome. I also saw Sarah Tang and Solitude and Bailey (congrats you two!!)

The Umpire would like to remind police that repeated interaction with known wanted/corrupt players may lead to calls from the townspeople that those police are made corrupt by affiliation.

Saturday, 9 February

[10:00 AM] Poesy Emmeline Fibonacci Nautilus Taylor Doctorow dreams of ballooning with Luke Richard Bennett
Poesy Emmeline Fibonacci Nautilus Taylor Doctorow reports:

When I grow up I want to blog from a balloon; just like my dad!

[11:00 AM] The Policeman with Absolute Motion wasn't fast enough for Prof. Plum, but an assassin was!
an assassin reports:

I hung around the [unspecified] lectures today to see if I could catch a glimpse of [unspecified assassin] Unfortunately he did not present himself between his lectures at 11, nor after his lectures at 12, however at 11 I did happen upon Matt Green. He had a gun, having killed William Brooks. So I Grenaded him for bearing.

William Brooks reports:

The life of a corrupt officer is a hard and tiring one. After getting 6h sleep in 48 hrs I fell out of bed and into lectures, unarmed apart from the bouncy balls that were lodged in my oh too recognisable jumper. So hear is the scene; A windswept bare department with tumbleweed blowing around and only a couple of police and live players waiting in the wings. Despite having seen multiple police lurking the exits, I was prohibited from launching a strike on them. Since there was one up high on a staircase and one to either side of me, I decided to just take fate as it came to me in a bleary eyed fashion, while trying to ensure any would be assailant got their just deserts. It was Matt Green who managed to strike out but was foolish because while he had taken down my mere shell of my former CoP self, I had drawn him into the jaws of an assassin from incredibly close range and left him bearing. I let this unnamed individual avenge my pitiful life.

Prof. Plum reports:

I am pleased to report that I have slain the murderous villian known as "Twillo" at 11:05 this bright springlike morning after riddling his body with holes from close range. May the city now be rid of his corruption and crime.

I am also less please to report that after killing the "Twillo" I did not conceal my trusty luger fast enough and fell prey to some sort of poisonous hedgehog from an assassin.
Woe is me!

[14:47 PM] Ensign Ricky, man in the red suit, dies... again. Philip Bielby, he so l33t!
Philip Bielby reports:

I shot lmm at approximately 22:00

[21:21 PM] Luke Richard Bennett, AKA Raccoon version 2, wounds and then finishes off Simeon Bird (Maximilian Arturo AKA Michael Oldfield AKA Poesy Emmeline Fibonacci Nautilus Taylor Doctorow)
Luke Richard Bennett reports:

20:15: This evening I headed to Newnham, since I knew Simeon Bird would be going to a Sheila meeting. I lurked the area by going onto the second floor, with a view of the route to the meeting room. I saw him go through an automatic door, so shot at him from above, but missed, at which point he ran towards sheila. So I went on a back route to the necessary corridor, and shot him properly.

Knowing your surroundings is science.

The Mysterious Ticking Noise (Sheilamaf version)

Bird, bird, Simeon Bird
Bird, bird, Simeon Bird

Bird, bird, Simeon Bird

Bird, Ben, bird, Ben, Simeon Bird, Ben Weaver

Bird, Ben, bird, Ben, Simeon Bird, Ben Weaver

Bird, Ben, Shenton, bird, Ben, Simeon Bird, Ben Weaver, Shenton

Bird, Ben, Shenton, bird, Ben, Simeon Bird, Ben Weaver, Shenton, Philip
Bielby Philip Bielby ooh, philip bielby philip bielby that's me!

Bird Bielby
Bird Bielby
Bird Bielby
Bird Bielby
Bird Bielby
Bird Bielby


Bird, Ben, Shenton, bird, Ben, Simeon Bird, Ben Weaver, Shenton, Philip
Bielby i'm Philip Bielby , philip philip bielby philip bielby

Singing a song, all day long at SHEILA

Ben Weaver: I found the source of ticking it's a pipe bomb
All: YAY
*Sheilamaf are blown up*

Dukemaf, dukemaf ooh dukey dukey dukey dukemaf

The Umpire would like to remind all players that there are no mafias in Cambridge and in particular the thoughts of a dukey dukey dukemaf are preposterous. Good Day.

Monday, 11 February

[13:06 PM] Le Chef pompt a la Bronwyn Elliott (Our Lady Bonbons)
Le Chef reports:

Bonjour, monsieur umpire.

Le inspecteur de health, il pompt dans le restaurant fantastic de Le Chef! Sacre bleur! Le Chef pompt le inspecteur avec un 'IRON BAR'. Mais disasteur! Le restaurant, c'est un hazard de health. Le Chef pompt du pompt le Magdalene.

A Magdalene Le Chef aller dans le court de Benson. Il pompt du pompt le assassin lmm. Le Chef et le assassin lmm pompt du pompt du pompt le incompente pas dangerous avec le subtlete et les weapons grand.

Les assassins, ils pompt de pompt la chambre de Roichin. Mais la chambre, c'est empty! Il n'y a rien incompetentes dangerous!

Le assassins, ils aller dans le 'Clare Colony'. Le Chef, il pompt du pompt la maison de la 'Bronwyn Elliott'. Le Chef pompt du pompt sur le door et une petite fille ouvert le door. Le Chef pompt du pompt au la cuisine et il pompt du pompt Bronwyn.

[16:30 PM] Le Chef pompts too much, or simply pompts where he shouldn't be pompting, Roisin Kiberd (the iron lady) falls to Le Chef's excessive pompting.
Le Chef reports:

Le Chef aller au Magdalene avec le gun. Le Chef pompt du pompt le gun. Il monter les stairs et il entre la chambre. Le Chef pompt du pompt le garcon mais il etais un fil. Le Chef pompt du pompt Roisin Kiberd et aussi il pompt du pompt le wall. Le Chef ne pompt du pompt pas les parents. Le Chef retourne au restaurant ou il pompt du pompt le inspecteur de health. Le restaurant n'est pas un hazard de health encore.

[17:30 PM] Luke Richard Bennett had some direct interaction with Kristian Glass, ooh err!
Luke Richard Bennett reports:

17:30 Headed to Clare Colony in order to see out Kristian Glass. Knocked on the front door of his house but the neighbour said he wasn't in. So I lurked for a bit longer, and about 15 mins later Kristian turned up. Unfortunately he saw me before I could sneak a shot on him, so we engaged in a firefight, with him stuck behind a wall near his door. I slowly moved in on him, throwing a bouncy ball which sounded like it hit but actually missed. Then his friend opened the front door for him, and he ducked inside before I could kill him.

[20:00 PM] At 21:00 this evening, police battle commences!

The Umpire would like to warn the citizens of Cambridge that corruption is spreading thick and fast through the streets of Cambridge and even through the police force. William Brooks and Philip Bielby are leading a renegade corrupt police force which is trying to take over the noble blue force that we hold dear. Colin Love and Amelia Booth are trying to protect us from this power-crazed duo. All other officials have the choice to take sides or to pretend everything is ok. Whoever wins, we all lose!

Tuesday, 12 February

[09:00 AM] Thomson and Thompson and Le Chef were seen testing the catering facilities at the police station! Could there have been a health hazard lurking about!?
Le Chef reports:

Cette moin le chef aller a 1b Mathematique. Il pompt du pomt avec Philip Hubbard et ils pompt du pompt au "Mill Lane". Le Chef pompt du pompt en face de le theatre et Philip pompt du pompt pour l'Inspecteur Adore. Il a une RBG et il pompt du pompt l'Inspecteur Adore, mais il ne pompt du pompt pas l'Inspecteur. Sacre blue, l'Inspecteur Adore est alive. Le restaurant au Le Chef est un hazard du l'health encore.

Thomson and Thompson reports:

Today, at about 8:59am, myself et Le Chef met up to try and kill the CoP. Le Chef waited outside on mill lane, while I attempted to stroll nonchanlently by the doors of the lecture theatre. Unfortunately, DI Love managed to avoid the notice of my friend outside, so the pincer attack never happened and he escaped into his lecture after a brief firefight.

DI Love reports:

Upon almost entering my lecture hall I spotted a suspicious figure. Upon realising he was trying to kill me I exchanged fire. He then ran off so I entered my lecture.

[18:05 PM] Private Parts strikes the first blow to the pants of corruption, Philip Hubbard (Thomson and Thompson) falls.
Private Parts reports:

I very bravely stabbed Thomson and Thompson in the back while talking to friends. Let this be a lesson to all those who lurk in the criminal underworld of cambridge, fear my lazy, underhanded, dishonourable justice!

[22:30 PM] Sacre bleu! William Brooks (Le Chef) est mort! Michael William Donaghy pompt suis Le Chef.
Le Chef reports:

Le Chef aller au le "Corn exchange" et il pompt du pompt. Il voire le tres grand gros homme et il pompt du pompt le "Max D 6000". Le tres grand gros homme ne fait pas un alligance avec le chef. Le chef pompt du pompt au "KamBar". Le chef voire le tres grand gros homme encore et il pompt du pompy un "RBG". Le tres grand homme ne fait pas un alligance avec le chef. Le chef voire le Duc et il preparer pour pompt du pompt il. Le tres grand gros homme pompt du pomt le chef en le dos parce que il est un buffon. Le chef est morte. Apres, l'Inspecteur Adore pompt du pompt le chef. Le chef est morte encore. Apres le chef morte encore, Madmoiselle Sacre Bleu pompt du pompt le chef avec un RBG. Le chef morte encore encore. Mais l'Inspecteur Adore decouvert le restaurant n'est pas un hazard du l'health et il pompt du pomt il. Le restaurant est le restaurant d'Adore. Zut alors!

Angua reports:

Tuesday, approx. 11:15pm- subtle Angua is being subtle. Aka, falling up the stairs, dropping RBG then pompting le amused Chef. Who is already dur fwarr mort, but still le offended.

Wednesday, 13 February

[02:30 AM] Luke Richard Bennett spotted Jennifer Berry (an assassin)on her way back from the kambar, and shot her, how exciting!
Luke Richard Bennett reports:

here's an assassin
there's an assassin
and another little assassin
fuzzy assassin
funny assassin
assassin assassin

[11:55 AM] Elaine Oliver lurked for Kristian Glass but he wasn't home :(
Elaine Oliver reports:

Dear Monsieur le Umpire

I decided to pay Mister Glass a surprise visit this morning. At 11.10 I knocked on his door, but unfortunately, if he WAS INDEED at home, he chose to ignore me and no answer to my knocking was forthcoming. Not having to be anywhere for a while yet, I decided to wait and see if he would turn up. Unfortunately, by midday, no sightings were forthcoming and I was getting hungry, so I gave it up as a bad job and I'm now making pasta. Mmm.

[20:20 PM] Le Chef (c'est fantastique)

As Mr. Will Brooks was killed by an abstainee of the police war, the Umpire has decided to be compassionate and allow his carcass to continue the fight for corruption. All allied police should be wary of this unsavory half robot, half chef monster!

Thursday, 14 February

[00:01 AM] Police Shenanigans!

The Umpire believes that some form of shenanigans occured yesterday in which lots of police were fighting a war of some sorts.

Here is what I can deduce from reports:

William Brooks shot and killed a confused Jacob Samuel Corteen who thought he was talking to a corpse.

Amelia Booth was very alarmed by all of this, and while still being very confused attempted to run away, this failed as William Brooks killed her too

After Philip Bielby and William Brooks had defeated both Amelia Booth and the (now former, and dead) CoP more shenanigans occurred.

Philip Bielby shot William Brooks as the town wasn't big enough for the both of them or something

Angua reports:

Wednesday, approx. 9pm- Angua and paradise lost spy Glass. So near, yet so far... le same room, but das ist das outgen of den bounds.

Wednesday, approx. 10pm- Sacre bleu! Le mort-pompter est mort-pompting! Vulnerable Angua is being Vulnerable, so hides and attempts to gain arms. Parapompt lost. :( Then have we ze short chase in and around ze building of the undetermineden boundgenstatus. Dead Angua is made dead. But le zombiechef unpompted das himself when Angua and paradise lost were forcibly unawares due to being le beezee with das nichtpompenheiten-importanten-thing. So we might, like, LOL, be back.

[00:01 AM] Philip Bielby strikes a blow to the heart of the allied forces, Colin Love (DI Love) is no more!

| Home || Email |
| News 01 || News 02 || News 04 || Updates || Headlines || police || wanted || inco || stats |
Valid XHTML 1.1