Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Headlines

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Saturday, 24 January

[05:00 AM] The Game Begins!
[09:00 AM] NO PIE?! There's NO PIE?! but WHY is there NO PIE?! Touch of Pink fails to provide PIE!
[10:00 AM] MrF missed an important bulletin on The BBC News
[11:50 AM] Evelyn Brockmann(Charlotte Corday) is cleaned up by Mr Scrub, as You got Sarge'd watches from behind his door
[13:00 PM] Jimbob Jones was not home, so his assailant could not T#%T it.
[13:30 PM] Black Eyed Pete searched for assassins, but none were made to walk the plank
[14:00 PM] Go wanted by shooting Edward Ignatius Morland (Jaqen H'ghar) and Roseanna Pendlebury (The Poultrygeist)? wywwy?
[15:00 PM] Nicholas Fullerton(Gilgamesh) was read his last rites
[15:30 PM] Someone forgot that there are no bombs in this game.
[17:05 PM] Michelle shows a killer instinct in his Rorschach(Steven John) test
[17:45 PM] Feeling blue(Francis Bleibel)? Must be because there's NO PIE?!
[19:00 PM] Carnage occurs! Aaron Barker(a small child), Jonathan David Benwell(The Cameraman) and Jonathan Marten(The Dread Pirate LeChuck) all fall. Cupcake manages to escape.
[19:15 PM] Cupcake committed a heinous crime.
[21:48 PM] Never stand too close to the Plodge! William Warman (Nightjar) is brutally murdered.

Sunday, 25 January

[10:00 AM] Sunday mornings are a killer for Oliver Dominik Caspari (Gabriel Otto Dwarfsmith)
[11:00 AM] Adam Guterres, Coryan Wilson-Shah and Paul Tinton went on a poisoning spree. Jeremy Kneebone (Artichoke) fell afoul.
[12:00 PM] Paul Tinton is a Duncan Stibbard Hawkes (Pain in the Assassin)
[12:10 PM] Lord Erebus narrowly escapes Adam Guterres
[12:40 PM] Sheepish kills his would-be assailant Charlie Schoonman (some loathsome individual whose name is not worth mentioning) and accidently kills his ally/target Mark Pendar-Bare (Heydar). Look Sheepish!
[13:00 PM] William P Brooks shot lots of innocents
[14:00 PM] diavolo abile cuts down Netta Chachamu (the muffin man)
[15:00 PM] The Muffin Man ran out of muffins, so he snacked on a Elaine Oliver(mojito)
[16:00 PM] Adam Guterres beams Michael McCulloch (Scotty) to the grave.
[19:00 PM] David Reid (Sicarius Clandestinus) resigned from the game
[20:30 PM] Philip Hubbard takes on five assassins, but nobody is killed
[22:50 PM] William P Brooks attacks the police force, pigging Roseanna Pendlebury (Justice! Or at least doughnuts...)

Monday, 26 January

[09:00 AM] Coryan Wilson-Shah takes down Chris Hands (Touch of Pink) and Aaron Barker(Richard "Somewhat Inimitable" Gibson). Who will stop him?
[12:00 PM] Elfboy shows his hand. Ben Gadsby (Josie Mitchell) is struck down
[17:15 PM] Some serious interactions occurred! Harry Huang (Peter Duffett-Smith) was the only casualty.
[19:30 PM] Holmes seeks out The Avuncular Troglodyte. Perhaps he is lost without his trusty assistant?
[19:45 PM] The Joker knew Harry Steggles (The Muffin Man), so Elfboy killed him.
[20:00 PM] Some assassins fancied some Cupcake. They left hungry.
[20:30 PM] Another wanted! Gordon Levine kills his target Jamie Goodland (Flash Kong), but accidently takes down Jane Aston (Turnus) in the process.

Tuesday, 27 January

[02:00 AM] An anonymous bounty was placed!
[08:55 AM] The streets of Cambridge are slightly safer as Adam Guterres (Seafarer Attic Butler King) is taken down. Read about it on The BBC News!
[10:40 AM] Lord Erebus guns down the corpse of Jane Aston
[12:00 PM] Kluke receives a poisoned envelope.
[13:00 PM] Do away with Andrew Hobson (The Antagonised Ape)? That's What she said!
[13:15 PM] Duh duh duh....another wanted bites the dust! Alicia Danks (wywwy) is brought to justice by Baroque Obama, though not before dispatching Matt Hickford (dr -NIM)
[13:30 PM] William P Brooks kills again! Who will be The Artist (Thomas Martin Prince) of his demise?
[15:25 PM] Prometheus scorches Robert Rivera (Shadowgerbil).
[16:00 PM] I heard there was a secret NO PIE?!. Adam Morgan (Peregrine) didn't.
[19:00 PM] Another anonymous bounty. Who will claim the ptreasure?
[19:30 PM] The Author writes the postscript for Yi Luo (Screaming Dove)
[21:00 PM] Rhymnocerous refuses to suckmyrocket

Wednesday, 28 January

[10:00 AM] Joseph Reed ends Luke James Montgomery Robins (The Author)'s novel.
[12:00 PM] Careless talk costs lives! Or at least your own, in the case of Thomas Alexander (This IS a gun in my pocket!)
[13:00 PM] Another kill for Coryan Wilson-Shah in Harry Robinson (That was unexpected...). Can't say That was unexpected...
[14:00 PM] Clearly The Unsubtle Menace was being quite subtle, as they elude Marvin
[16:15 PM] Gordon Levine has a good plan, and gets the licit kill need for redemption, disposing of Alex Guttenplan (Philby)
[16:30 PM] The Avuncular Troglodyte deflates Theo Sanderson (Inflatable Mongoose)'s attempt
[18:00 PM] Perhaps the lack of pie finally got to Coryan Wilson-Shah (NO PIE?!), as he killed by If it moves T#%T it, though not before kicking the ass of Foysol Miah (With karate I'll kick your ass, from here to right over there).
[18:30 PM] The Joker's misunderstanding of licit targets fails to amuse Matthew Evans (last rites).
[19:20 PM] Michelle takes out the trash, disposing of Adam S.Backer (Dan The Garbage Man)

Thursday, 29 January

[04:00 AM] It's another arrrrnonymous bounty!
[09:55 AM] Is this the end for twatism? Joseph Reed (If it moves T#%T it) can't move fast enough.
[12:00 PM] The reckless criminal William P Brooks (I have no need of a pseudonym because I am going wanted (low redemption conditions please!)) is finally taken down! What havoc will he now cause within the police force?
[12:15 PM] Joseph Reed's not having a good day, this time shot by Neither am I
[13:00 PM] A lack of Cupcake leaves ScienceFictionDoubleFeature hungry for more (more, more, more...)
[16:00 PM] Dora the explorer has a spring in their step, eliminating John Shirley (grasshopper)
[16:30 PM] There may me no more muffin men, but baking muffins leads to Julie Chan (knawit)'s demise.
[17:30 PM] Some police try to clean up the streets of Cambridge, but again Benjamin Huw Gibson proves elusive.
[17:50 PM] Black Eyed Pete remains treasureless.
[21:15 PM] NINJA Elfboy showed off his moves on James Wilkinson Barwise (Albi The Racist), who dispatched of Anthony Price (What she said)

Friday, 30 January

[10:00 AM] Michelle's special letter is successfully nullified by Benjamin Huw Gibson
[13:20 PM] The Soviet Samurai is left disappointed by a lack of Sulphane, but I'm sure his nose isn't.
[14:00 PM] Isha lacks sufficient latin to find Cogito Ergo Femina Sum
[15:00 PM] Joseph Reed is mutilated again! This time Ernesto is the culprit
[16:00 PM] Banana Flavour does not mix with Ginger, whilst Malachy Gerard Higgins remains elusive.
[19:00 PM] Kluke can't lure out Prometheus. Perhaps he should go to the store to get more fire?
[20:00 PM] Richard "Solvent Insurer" Gibson fails to account for Sidhe and Holmes, despite assistance from arva

Saturday, 31 January

[10:00 AM] Magnet fails to attract Robot in Disguise
[13:00 PM] Sam Atkinson (Professor Challenger found the lost world, and then he) found Michelle's poison letter
[14:00 PM] Incobash group 1 (bikes): A disticnt lack of incos.
[14:20 PM] You got Sarge'd and Lord Erebus hunt out the inco Meg, but he doesn't want to play.
[18:15 PM] yohoho and a bottle of Matthew Yates (Ali Dia)
[18:20 PM] Banana Flavour didn't like the incompetent flavour of Todd Davidson (Capital T).

Sunday, 1 February

[15:00 PM] arva's coin trick accounts for Tanuj Bhojwani (Sulphane)
[17:55 PM] The Knight who say Ni avenges their friends by killing Luke Sharpin (Kluke)
[19:00 PM] Darkness falls on Kaifei Yu (never ending night). yohoho continues his fine police work, with the help of What me? No, I'm not corrupt..
[22:30 PM] Cogito Ergo Femina Sum, Baroque Obama and G mutilate Jonah Hill

Monday, 2 February

[10:50 AM] Amelia Booth makes a bid for the furthest ever kill, taking down Charlie Schoonman (the unwavering hand of fate) in Salzburg
[12:00 PM] arva discovered that Allie Rinck (ink) bleeds more than ink.
[14:30 PM] Michelle drinks up Jacob Wills (Beef Tea)
[15:00 PM] Neither am I shows the force of the law. Bibek Mukherjee (Hercule Poirot) and Parin Shah (Donkey Oaty) are the latest inco casualties.
[18:30 PM] yohoho is becoming quite the inco basher. Kai Van Duuren (Half-dutch) is full-dead.
[20:30 PM] There are no mafias in Cambridge, as l33t-girl888, I pwn n00bs and Holmes can confirm. The Avuncular Troglodyte escapes their clutches, but Mukund Kanoria (Kundi) does not.
[21:30 PM] Michelle shows off her muscles by killing Jimmy Bost (Biceps Femoris)

Tuesday, 3 February

[00:15 AM] DanceDance Revolution: Submission Number One
[10:00 AM] suckmyrocket can't be sucked in by poison letters.
[14:00 PM] Orfeo unsuccesfully vists Cogito Ergo Femina Sum. Perhaps the radio is insufficently operatic?
[15:00 PM] More mutilation. Lord Erebus shoots the zombified Mukund Kanoria
[19:00 PM] KT Bosse-Foy (Robot in Disguise) dies lots of times. Looks like Justice!...this time.
[19:10 PM] Ben Gadsby (Brownbeard) gets caught up trying to kill the Newnham inco, as he also falls to Justice!...this time

Wednesday, 4 February

[11:00 AM] Sheepish is not yet Sidhe's lamb to the slaughter
[12:00 PM] Stephen Tordoff (MrF), you got headcrabbed. You got Sarge'd imaginative weaponry strikes.
[13:00 PM] Richard Paul Astley cannot be letter-rolled by ScienceFictionDoubleFeature
[14:30 PM] Matt Taylor (Grubberlang) discovers that the police aren't as incompetent as he is. a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises. continues to serve up justice.
[18:00 PM] Need to remove the inco Merlin Evans (USING ALL CAPS MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL)? This calls for Captain Charisma!
[19:10 PM] Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis ruins Caroline Tecks (Panthunter)'s dinner.
[20:00 PM] arva shoots the corpse of Lauren Withall (Lethal Llama) - she had fallen to the poison letter of The Penguin.
[20:10 PM] Black Eyed Pete is treasureless once again, shooting the corpse of Caroline Tecks
[22:00 PM] Mutilation is contagious, everyone's at it! Bosun Pudding joins in the festivities with Matt Taylor

Thursday, 5 February

[11:00 AM] The BBC News cannot report the death of any incos.
[11:30 AM] Merlin Evans is popular today! Ernesto can't find him either
[13:20 PM] iswydt attempted to molest the Umpire. wywwy?
[14:00 PM] Does Banana Flavour still like the flavour of incos? Giles Fleming doesn't want to find out.
[15:00 PM] Do you prefer Bosun Pudding or PIE!? Anthony Yong Kheng Cordero Ng (Bruce Lee) would say neither
[20:00 PM] NINJA Elfboy flushes away Giles Fleming (Mr Scrub), with a little help from his comrade The Soviet Samurai

Friday, 6 February

[00:00 AM] Guess what? It's another anonymous bounty!
[11:00 AM] Jessica Donnithorne (Dora the explorer) may have explored the antartic, but she certainly didn't see The Penguin coming.
[13:20 PM] I've heard PIE! is a Magnet for the ladies. Perhaps it was a fatal attraction for Karoliina Lehtinen (Magnet)
[14:00 PM] The ITV News update! Jack William Matthew Jackson (Rhymnocerous) falls to a poison letter!
[15:00 PM] ScienceFictionDoubleFeature doesn't get a feature of Benjamin Huw Gibson
[15:30 PM] The notorious wanted criminal Benjamin Huw Gibson (Cupcake) is finally taken down as he has a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises.
[18:15 PM] l33t-girl888, I pwn n00bs and Holmes try their luck with Dominic Hinkins (The Avuncular Troglodyte) again. This time Holmes gets him.
[19:30 PM] SWAT raid time! No-one was killed, shocker!

Saturday, 7 February

[00:30 AM] yohoho and a bottle of rum at 'Pav'. Yuan Cao Zhang (latent electricity) is the latest Churchill inco to fall.
[15:00 PM] Black Eyed Pete's lack of booty is beginning to frustrate him, all he sees are corpses!

Sunday, 8 February

[10:40 AM] The Knight who say Ni wants to flsuh away some incos. He was too late for Giles Fleming.
[22:00 PM] NO RUM?! drove Harry Robinson (Dick Deadeye) to his death
[23:00 PM] William P Brooks (G) attacks someone he can't kill. Baroque Obama punishes him accordingly.

Monday, 9 February

[09:40 AM] Is Sheepish really a turtle? X can't find him either.
[11:00 AM] It's the last roll of the dice for Daniel O'Brien (Richard Paul Astley) as Bosun Pudding strikes down another inco.
[12:00 PM] Not content with being dead again, William P Brooks tries to interfere with Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis and Cogito Ergo Femina Sum
[12:10 PM] A familiar face returns?
[20:45 PM] The BBC News wants to kill incos, but Alice Draper, Nadia Shahanara Islam and Oliver Timmis won't come out to play
[21:00 PM] Shantanu Kafle is apparently subtle enough to evade arva and The Penguin
[22:00 PM] a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises. has a warning for Shantanu Kafle

Tuesday, 10 February

[09:55 AM] The ITV News has a special early morning bulletin for Carol Sparke (Cogito Ergo Femina Sum)
[12:27 PM] It appears Black Eyed Pete has an ally in his quest for treasure.
[13:10 PM] Simon Taylor (Lord Erebus) should have known better than to mess with l33t asssassins like l33t-girl888 and I pwn n00bs
[13:25 PM] President assassinated! Oh wait it's only James Brister (Baroque Obama) (this time).
[13:30 PM] Mary Fortune (Sidhe) discovers that attacking Sheepish is a bad plan. First she shoots an innocent, and then is killed by her target, with a little help from Jimbob Jones
[17:15 PM] Would Oliver Timmis (Lionheart) give him kingdom for some PIE!?

Wednesday, 11 February

[11:55 AM] Sheepish dishes out his own bran of Justice on Jack Oyston (Hooded Justice)
[13:00 PM] Shantanu Kafle (The Unsubtle Menace) avoids being thunderbolted by beight caught up by The Soviet Samurai
[18:20 PM] Black Eyed Pete searches for James Brister without success. Surprise, surprise, he was dead anyway!
[20:55 PM] Michelle pulls her belle moves on Christopher Milligan (suckmyrocket)

Thursday, 12 February

[13:00 PM] The mysterious X responds to the challenge by taking down Alasdair Wilkins (Jimbob Jones AKA l33t-girl888) and Brook Roberts (Sheepish AKA I pwn n00bs AKA The Last Biscuit)
[17:20 PM] Bosun Pudding om nom noms another inco, Christopher Powell (You got Sarge'd)
[19:00 PM] NINJA Elfboy has fun in the snow, but Jimbob Jones doesn't increase his pleasure

Friday, 13 February

[09:00 AM] Roseanna Pendlebury(Justice!...this time) dies again, this time to Captain Orgasmatron
[10:00 AM] What me? No, I'm not corrupt. appears to be less than corrupt, dispatching the inco Alice Draper (Marvin)
[11:00 AM] Holmes detective skills fail to locate Ernesto

Saturday, 14 February

[08:00 AM] An anonymous bounty! Oh wait...
[14:20 PM] Sir Lai Xi likes the taste of Rich Miller (Banana Flavour)

Sunday, 15 February

[16:00 PM] The BBC News and Rich Miller say ni to The Knight who say Ni
[18:00 PM] Black Eyed Pete has a run-in with arva and Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis.
[23:00 PM] Has NINJA Elfboy become completely invisible? He succeeds in eluding The Soviet Samurai completely.
[23:40 PM] Amelia Booth saw some assassins

Monday, 16 February

[21:30 PM] Bethany English and NINJA Elfboy had a direct interaction, ooh err!

Tuesday, 17 February

[00:01 AM] Nadia Shahanara Islam (Richard "Solvent Insurer" Gibson) was removed from the game.
[12:30 PM] Sir Lai Xi fails to impress the emperor with any kills
[14:45 PM] The ITV News takes control of the Cambridge media, taking down Philip Hubbard (The BBC News AKA Sir Lai Xi)
[16:00 PM] Mmmmm PIE!. PIE! goooood! Unless you're Adina Judy Bernstein (Isha) that is.
[18:45 PM] Robert Bell (Ernesto) is the latest to have a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises.

Wednesday, 18 February

[13:15 PM] Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis continues his rampage through the game, felling Ashley Chadwick (The Knight who say Ni). Who can stop him?
[19:15 PM] After their earlier run in, Black Eyed Pete tries to hunt down arva and Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis again
[19:45 PM] Gordon Levine (Saturn AKA Orfeo) is in fact killed before thunderbolting by Bjorn Again

Thursday, 19 February

[09:00 AM] Henry R. B. Duke (Black Eyed Pete) is sent to the graveyaaaaarrd by The 'Other' Duke and arva
[13:30 PM] Holmes remains good at evasion as well as detection, as The Soviet Samurai discovers.
[21:30 PM] Holmes out-ninjas Dominic Carr (Elfboy AKA NINJA Elfboy)

Saturday, 21 February

[18:35 PM] Mutiny in Russia as Dyeduska Vodyanoy takes down Serguei Mouratov (The Soviet Samurai)

Sunday, 22 February

[19:30 PM] The elusive inco Bethany English (ScienceFictionDoubleFeature) is finally taken down!

Monday, 23 February

[13:00 PM] Michelle and arva shoot Dominic Carr's corpse.

Tuesday, 24 February

[09:00 AM] Rupert Rutledge (Holmes) is the last to fall to the team of arva and X

Wednesday, 25 February

[00:00 AM] So, You say you want a Revolution?.
[23:37 PM] Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis (Michelle AKA The ITV News AKA The Penguin AKA PIE! AKA X AKA I'M Richard Gibson AKA Dyeduska Vodyanoy AKA The Grue AKA The 'Other' Duke AKA Bjorn Again AKA The Nuke) emerges as victor, disposing of Emily Scragg (arva)!

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