The Assassins' Guild: Lent 2017 Game Awards

For various achievements and entertainments, the following awards are presented:

The BAFTA Award for Best Actress:
Alex Hibbert, for convincing Twm Stone he was not playing before, during, and even sometime after the Twmcobash. Also for the successful disguise as a red-haired woman.
The Banker's Bonus Award for Profit:
Mikaela Belcher, for earning several bags of donuts for information dealing.
The Brutus Award for Best Betrayal:
Alex Allen, for stabbing two of the other three duellists in the back.
The Catherine Zentile Award for Least Innocent Innocent:
Alex Franklin for despite not playing, stabbing Damien Teague with a knife and then attempting to sign up as Police on the spot to actually kill him.
The Cuba '62 Award for Narrowly Averted Disaster:
The 1-5am Debacle, a clash between six live players and four police lasting four hours in the dead of night during which miraculously no-one was killed.
The Darwin Award for Death by Stupidity:
Seb Dex, for opening his door with an "I'm about to die, aren't I?" and then standing around for far too long when the accomplice in front of him clarified "Not by me, no."
The David and Goliath Award for Best Giant-Killing Activity by a New Player:
Alex Wallace, for getting Dani Cugini and almost Andrew Darby.
The David Duffit Award for secrecy and deception:
Alex Hibbert and Alex Allen, for consistently pretending to be each other to the point where even the Umpire became confused.
The 'Do you have my fish?' Award for Excuse Least Likely To Get Someone To Open The Door:
David Browne, for rehearsing an entire script about being a new PhD student looking to make friends, but only managing to stutter out "I'm new." when it came time to go doorhunting.
The Gary Lineker Award for Sportsmanship:
Valentin Foley, for taking their betrayal and subsequent death extraordinarily well.
The Harland Quinn Golden Quill for the Most Amusing Reports:
Joe Tomkinson for an amusing sequence of snek pictures (although it took a while for the Umpire to figure out how to put them up).
The 'I Shot the Sheriff' Award for Butchering Cops:
Twm Stone, for the blood-soaked day of the Incobash.
The Kenny Award for Dying Far Too Many Times:
Naive Enthusiast, presented without comment.
The Koom Valley Award for Best Ambush:
The Twmcobash, wherein the Police Force got their revenge for what had happened during the Incobash.
The Lawyers at Dawn Award for Disputing Everything:
Michael Warman, for counselling MadgaCorp in at least five different disputes and eventually causing the Umpire to just give up and end the game early.
The Leek and Safe Award for most interesting weaponry:
Andrew Darby, for a spanish flag labelled 'The Spanish Inquisition', which got two kills in duels out of nobody expecting it.
The Lemming Award for the First to Die:
Jamie Howie
The Mario Sainz-Martinez Award for cowwuption:
Felix Menze, for telling everyone he knew the supervision times of a Wanted person, assembling a raiding team, and then shooting them all in the back to announce his corruption.
The My Coat Is Just Big Boned Award for Weapon Concealment:
Valentin Foley, for hiding a Hyperfire under their coat for an hour of battle without anyone figuring out exactly what it was.
The "nice try" Award for a valiant effort:
Damien Teague, for spending half an hour sneaking up on his target, only to be foiled by a Timeout that was called for unrelated reasons half a second before the stabbing happened.
The Obfuscated Tutorial System Award for Silliest Pseudonym:
Naive Enthusiast, for the entire first chapter of The Bad Beginning (which had to be edited for copyright reasons). Honorable mention to Andrew Darby, whose Man With Glass Eyes accumulated many injuries over the course of the game.
The Show Must Go On Award for Devotion to The Guild:
Twm Stone, for when the game had to be paused for real-life reasons, offering to be hunted down by the entire guild for three days and even publicising his timetable.
The Tombstone Award for Psychopathy:
Alex Allen, for nine kills, including all three of her duel opponents.
The Three Hours Early Award for Paranoia:
Andrew Browne, for failing to eat for three days out of fear of going to Hall. (Seriously, if you feel like it's coming to this, please do message the Umpire and they will work something out).
The Three Weeks Early Award for signing up early:
The VFD Administration, for starting the stabbing a couple of weeks before the game even began.
The *Twitch* award for Plot Derailment:
Damien Teague, for due to Umpirical laziness, technically not actually having been thunderbolted at the time when he tracked down Alex Allen post-Duel and stabbed her.
The Yellow Streak Award for Running Away:
Joe Tomkinson, for fleeing from several frisbee practises and his own attempt to lurk a Magdalene kitchen.
The Red/Blue Colourblind Award for Teamkilling:
Naive Enthusiast, for killing people in the Police war without revealing which side he was on, which caused a whole mess of Corruption confusion and ended up resetting everything.
The Fluffy Bunny Collective Award for the Least Threatening Alliance:
Peterchilledwards, for signing up in large numbers yet all dying before they could make an impact on the game.
The Mounted Division Award for Bicycle Warfare:
Michael Warman, for various scouting and weapons-loan adventures for MagdaCorp, and even loaning out his bike.
The Social Butterfly Knife Award for Society Sweeping:
Alex Hibbert, for staking out Whosoc, Archery, and Frisbee looking for targets.

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