Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Il Racconto (The Story)


Respected Uomini D’Onore,

The Family has had some concerning news about our last hitman - Alessandro “Big Al” Corcese - it appears he feels our acquaintance is no longer of value to him. To this end, we have decided to select a new hitman.

My Consigliere has advised me of a course of action most ingenious. The game is simple, be my most loyal and respected associate and prove your worth against the other members of the family. You have one week to… eliminate as many of the opposition as you can. Naturally, I do not wish any of my associates harm, so should you be eliminated I will revive your position in the mafia.

In The Family there are 5 Capodecina who are some of our most prolific members. These Capodecina carry on their person a lanyard, which identifies them and allows them to earn special rewards when taking part in the game. As an honourable family, we will of course let these people be known to you, and should you wish to challenge them for the honour of the lanyard I am sure you know what you must do.

As with all respectable families, we have some unwritten rules. Breaking these rules will earn a bounty on your head, and other associates may attempt to earn this reward through your elimination from the business. Remember, respect the family, appease the Don and everything will be sunny side up.

Of course we have no dealings with the police, so my heavies and I will be monitoring the actions of family members closely and placing these bounties frequently. We would rather not be involved in the dirty work of law enforcement, so the higher the price of your betrayal to the family, the higher the reward for your capture. That being said, we will not hesitate to pay personal visits to more insubordinate members of The Family.

The highest 5 points scorers at the end of this week will earn a place at my villa where we will discuss and resolve the issue of a replacement hitman and enjoy the summer sun.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Your Capofamiglia,

Don O’Hare



The game began at 12:00 on Saturday the 18th of June.

Our first kill of the game was by Don Alhambra, who brutally murdered The Mattia (Matilda Sibeth) in her room. Don Alhambra was one of our most notorious employees in previous months, and so will receive the title of Capodecina at the opening meeting.

Not to be outdone, Vendetta took the opportunity to end the prospects of Junior (Callum Halton):

The steaming water from the kettle sloshed gently around the mug as the small granules of coffee dissolved into the searing heat. All it took was a gentle stir to get the list of the brown dust to dissipate into the warmth of the water around it.

Vendetta took a sip of the drink as he reclined backwards in his chair. The rapid speed at which the appetizing beverage could quench one's energy and one's thirst was without a doubt necessary beyond what words a human could muster. Heh. A human.

The moment of peaceful contemplation was interrupted by a shrill tone. The revenant sighed as he leaned forward, softly placed the coffee cup onto the cork coaster, and pressed a small metal button on the phone on the corner of his desk.

With a static crackle, the phone's speakers turned themselves on. A moment of silence followed before a deep voice was heard on the other side.


The revenant remained nonvocal as his eyes pierced through the telephone.

"R-Right, the boss said you might not be very garrulous. Um, we need someone taken out."

Reaching forward, the revenant wrapped his hand around the coffee mug. Lifting it, he took a quiet sip as he listened.

"The boss wants Callum Halton gone. Today."

Vendetta nodded lightly as he took one final sip, and returned the mug to its perch on the coaster. His finger darted over to the phone where he tapped the 'END CALL' button. A buzz was heard for a moment, before the room returned to silence.


He knew where he'd find his target. Vendetta armed himself with a legion of knives and a gun that had served him well and took a morning stroll through the gardens of the nearby Homerton Park.

Subtly was always his standard. Sometimes, though, preparation is unnecessary. The poor soul was walking unaware through the grounds when Vendetta's eyes locked on his target. It was but a swift stab. Pulling out a small cloth, Vendetta cleaned the blood as the target fell onto the ground, dead within moments.

Shortly before the opening meeting, Dmoter infiltrated the Titillian Mafia, bypassing their security network to swiftly deal punishing death to Dr. Nessuno (Chris Ryan), Vito Scaletta (Devamitra Acharya) and Jinnie Fay (Eve Singleton).

The meeting which was being held at that time meant that a business partner from another city was fatally wounded in the process (+3 bounty points on Dmoter). To avenge the lost business opportunities, Il bacio della morte shot Dmoter (Lucas Beghein) in the back as they left the scene of the crime. A truly devastating moment for the Titillian Mafia, and The Family’s integrity as a whole, seeing 4 of our Uomini D’Onore and one business partner killed in a brief 5 minute encounter.


Don O’Hare and his bodyguards left his central office as the rain began to ease. Jacket over his shoulders, the Capofamiglia strolled through the back streets of the city, avoiding unwanted attention. They arrived at the villa, aware of a tail following them into the grounds. The route to the meeting location was varied and convoluted, removing all chances of being followed into this, the most important and dangerous of business ventures.

Upon arrival in the main building of the villa, O’Hare’s bodyguards double-checked the security of the building and the Capo stood in the doorway, awaiting his guests. Pyrite arrived on time, armed to the teeth and very calmly took their seat at the table. Lv. 100 Boss then arrived with backup, who stood on the horizon watching the villa with cool and calm poise. Following them into the room was Vendetta, wearing a mask to hide their identity and speaking only in single words. Vendetta stood at the end of the table, their finger on the trigger of their gun and the safety off. The Small Heath Rifle then entered on their getaway vehicle, pulling up in the driveway and entering the room to calmly take their seat. Don Alhambra finally entered, and the meeting began.

Don O’Hare explained their presence:

         “You are all here because you are our most experienced Uomini D’Onore, with the most kills of any in the past months.”

At this moment, Mamma Americana, the Consigliere entered the room. She produced five letters for the assassins around the table.

Don O’Hare continued:

        “These letters signify your position as Capodecina - Head of 10 - which entitles you to triple points for each of your kills. Each of these letters is unique, and you cannot open them to discover what is inside until the end of the game. This is to verify no forgery of the role of Capodecina. If you die, these letters will be taken by your killers who inherit your position in The Family. They are also not allowed to open the letter.”

The five letters each had one word on the cover, and in the darkness of the room the white envelopes stood out like a Hawaiian shirt in a suit shop.

An - Offer - You - Can’t - Refuse

Each Capodecina picked one letter before turning to leave.

Outside, in the trees, a number of assassins lurked, waiting to improve their own rank in The Family by ambushing the Capodecina inside the villa.

Mamma Americana assisted The Small Heath Rifle in their getaway by valeting their getaway vehicle to the entrance of the building, where The Small Heath Rifle mounted and sped away, gun held out ready to strafe any attempting Uomini D’Onore. Don Alhambra made a swift and understated exit stage left to return to their daily duties. Pyrite made a dash for the embankment around the villa, vaulting the fence at the front of the veranda, and coming under fire from Lv. 100 Boss’ bodyguard. Unfortunately for Junior (Callum Halton), Pyrite’s aim was as good as their agility, and Junior bit the bullet with a shot in the hip. Vendetta took the rear exit and slinked off through the woods to the rear of the villa before touring round, to carefully avoid any fire from the Uomini D’Onore in the trees.

Don O’Hare and his bodyguards waited in the building for Lv. 100 Boss to leave, who had retreated further into the villa while their bodyguard made a diversion. Don O’Hare watched with cold eyes from the lawn as his bodyguards searched through the house. The bells across the fields rang out through the silence. He was summoned inside, and his footsteps rang out in the darkened boardroom. In the depths of the villa, a door was swinging open in the breeze, and the footprints of Lv. 100 Boss could be seen down the gravel path to the rear of the villa heading off into the surrounding woods.

With every Capodecina safely dispersed without any firefight between them, the meeting had run without a hitch. Don O’Hare stood on the veranda. A gentle breeze carried the birdsong across the villa. The Family was in safe hands, and his Capodecina would be honourable and duty-bound he was sure.



The game was now fully underway, and the Uomini D’Onore were scouting hard for their next victims. Following their unsuccessful attempts to breach Don O’Hare’s security perimeter, Bugsy Malone and Dmoter were invited to the office of Chris Ryan 2 for dinner and discussions of business. At the door Bugsy Malone showed their true colours by brutally murdering Chris Ryan 2 (Alexei Newton):

Fellas, the time has come for us to play our next card, and believe you's me, Bugsy Malone is here and here to stay and dumb bumbs ain't gonna stand in my way. I’ve gotta fistful of water, a fistful of bullets and each one’s got a shiny new name carved on it.

Me and my associate Dmoter made not one but two hikes uptown to the old cosa nostra to pay a nice little visit to Alexei Newton. I shot hard, I shot fast and BLAM! Alexei became acquainted with his shiny new bullet to the chest. The first of many. Beautiful. Just stinkin’ beautiful.

Don O’Hare’s ever-loving hand reinstated bob to their position as Uomini D’Onore, and they used their role to swiftly avenge Chris Ryan 2 with a carefully aimed poisoned dart to the chest of Bugsy Malone (Rachel Lawrence).

In what could then only be described as a poetic and fitting end, Chris Ryan 2 (Alexei Newton) and bob (Artem Khovanov), both now living Uomini D’Onore, turned on each other. Chris Ryan 2 dealt a punishing blow with a Maths Tripos Paper (Note: Don O’Hare thinks this might be against the Geneva Convention) while bob preferred the classic poison dart after they failed to handle their gun correctly and had to scramble for a last minute tactic.

Over in the town centre, things were much more successful for The Small Heath Rifle who calmly lured How's the Italian food in this restaurant? Good, try the veal, its the best in the city (Charlie Chamberlain) to a hidden back room and gunned them down with little remorse. A warning for The Family:

Don’t f*ck with The Small Heath Rifle

Vendetta proved their name by taking the life of another, Algarotti (Samuel Frith) perished in the arms of his mother (reported as such by Vendetta at least). Vendetta sends this message to The Family (Don O’Hare has checked this link, it is safe to view):

        Vendetta2.mp4 - Google Drive

The Mad Hatter (Frida Roper) then suffered double misery at the hands of two of the upper city’s most prolific Uomini D’Onore, first in the dead of night John 2 the wood fairy committed the most calculated of murders:

Having waited all year for the return of the ball, nerves were already tense. I was shocked to lock eyes on my target mid do-si-do and knew I must act. I waited all night, constantly scheming as I swung and chasséd across the ballroom, never letting my prey leave my sight. Finally as the final dance ended and we begrudgingly made our way to the exit, I had my chance. As my victim set about securing their carriage for the ride home I started my timer. 2 minutes later she was dead. A silent knife to the back and The Mad Hatter was no more, for this was no ordinary may ball this was a 17th century playford ball, courtesy of

After a night of restless death, The Mad Hatter (Frida Roper) was then ambushed by John the elder, John 1 the unicorn man, falling at the riverside to a single shot. The Mad Hatter may have been swimming with the fishes but they will be back.

Lv. 100 Boss took the opportunity to use their role as Capodecina to end the hopes of Algarotti (Samuel Frith), using the time-proven sword as their murder weapon to swiftly end Algarotti outside their safe-house. Algarotti will be seeking revenge in the coming days.

Vendetta continued their rise through The Family, luring Monica Bellucci (Leon Kollar) with the promise of fresh pizza (Don O’Hare admits this offer could be too good to refuse). Vendetta sends the following warning (Again tested by Don O’Hare):

Vendetta3.mp4 - Google Drive

The afternoon sun beat down, and as he strolled by the riverside, Don O’Hare knew something was afoot. A shot rang out, grazing his face. Dmoter stood there, baring a wild and untamed grin. Don O’Hare’s loyal and long serving bodyguard Vito Scaletta ran up and stabbed Dmoter (Lucas Beghein) in the stomach, marking his second death from the infamous Titillian Mafia. Vito Scaletta was not finished with his work however, and took his place as our newest Capodecina by drowning Pyrite (Henry London), putting his feet in concrete shoes and sending him to the bottom with a little divine intervention. Bugsy Malone (Rachel Lawrence) then fell foul of his kill streak with a knife to the stomach.

The Fairy Godfather raided Pyrite’s corpse and used the gun concealed to end His Royal Excellence Lord Edgar Darby Covington, 14th Earl of Cornwall-Upon-Thames and 29th Baron of Hertfordshire. A shame for one of the most affluent members of The Family.

Later that afternoon, Pesadilla put a brief and to the life of The Flamingo Shirt (Rafal Kliber), proving their worth as an associate of The Family.

Lv. 100 Boss continues to make use of their role as Capodecina, and of their now infamous sword skills to end The Godfather (Wren Cutler) in the town centre.

Striding to the top of the Don’s leaderboard in the evening was Vendetta, proving their selection as Capodecina very thoroughly by ending the life of Thistle (Sophie Walker).

BagMan began their first kill streak, the work of an Uomini D’Onore clearly beginning to take its toll:

I sit here contemplating what had just happened, what I had just done. This was my hardest job to date. Don't get me wrong I've had tougher more difficult jobs, the free fall hit on 42nd comes to mind. But this rooting out my own... its hard. It wasn't hard the way I knocked on the door, 'the boss needs helping moving some stuff'. The familiar face appearing to inform me to come in while they get ready. As they turned away... the gun... well at least its over. Although, it's not really over yet is it? This job has only just started.

Despite the mental struggle within this task that I faced, the hits themselves couldn't be easier. My last targets body was not yet cold when I bumped into the next name on my list. Then she bumped into my knife and... well... another friend gone and another step closer to that place at the top.

Taking inspiration from the other Capodecina, The Small Heath Rifle returned to the scene of a former crime, injuring then chasing down How's the Italian food in this restaurant? Good, try the veal, its the best in the city (Charlie Chamberlain) with extreme dedication, the chase lasting a cruelly long time for their victim.

Bugsy Malone would have a lot of work to do if they were to make up for lost points, so returned to the Titillian Mafia seeking revenge. Only . (Max Iyengar) fell foul of their bullets before Vito Scaletta used their Capodecina role to earn triple points on Bugsy Malone’s (Rachel Lawrence) death, while Pyrite (Henry London) who was accompanying Bugsy Malone was struck down by a single deadly shot from Chris Ryan.

Shortly before midnight, at the Gentleman’s Club known locally as “Mash”, Over Don Pasta (Claire Lincoln) took the darkness and confusion as the opportunity to end the lives of The Mad Hatter (Frida Roper) who had all-in-all been having quite a death filled week, and Mafiangeloso (Angelo Kylle Smith). Il bacio della morte took sweet revenge, providing the kiss of death to Over Don Pasta (Claire Lincoln) mere minutes later with a stab in the back.


Massacre season had now begun. Amelia Watson opened up the morning of death and took the life of an Associate by felling Lorenzo Salvara (Jago Westaway), the first kill of what Don O’Hare hopes is a very fruitful campaign.

Bugsy Malone (Rachel Lawrence) returned to her old hunting ground, but Chris Ryan was waiting there for her in the foyer of the Titillian Mafia’s headquarters:

Chris Ryan: I was checking my dead letter box for correspondence from the family when suddenly a shadowed figure walks behind me. My muscles tense. I know her. Stealthily I follow her down the stone path and shoot her in the back. So long my friend. Better luck next time.

Bugsy Malone: I ain't no mug. I got brains up there, not pretzels. But it was an ambush, you gets me? She was lying in wait for me to get out of no man's territory and right into the line of fire. I never stood a chance out there. But I know, now, I know. Old O'Hare and his bumbs won't catch me with my pants down again.

Amelia Watson begins to collect a series of serious opponents, ending the lives of Lv. 100 Boss (Kishan Zala) and Junior (Callum Halton) and becomes a Capodecina in the process.

Lv. 1 Crook ranks up by killing . (Max Iyengar), but is disappointed by the rest of the hunt of the Titillian Mafia.

Pyrite begins a dramatic killing spree through town, ending Vito Scaletta (Devamitra Acharya) to become our first Capoventi (Double Lanyard Holder). They then ploughed through their alliance with The Godfather (Wren Cutler) and Don Alhambra (Jack Lawrence) earning 6x points for this collection of kills and obliterating an already tenuous alliance.

In the outskirts of the city, UT (Umran Tuglu) met her demise at the hands of John 1 the unicorn man (Mia Gittens) who then perished to a pair of greasy thumbs.

BagMan took to the arena again, destroying the mattia (Matilda Sibbeth) and Hosea Matthews (Sam Mossop).

Lv. 1 Crook (Caio Bezerra) began to show the higher ups that they were not to be messed with until Vendetta put an end to his fun. Lv. 1 Crook sent the Kish Cabal after Vendetta with his dying breath, and Vendetta tried to make it to their safehouse as quickly as possible:

I cycled vigorously in my getaway bicycle, having fled the Kish Cabal (ie Homerton mafia) and not wanting to pick further fights, I tried to reach another’s residence for safety. Sophie was waiting to let me into the back entrance of her college. I came up, and just as I was dismounting my bike and kicking the stand to put my helmet away (ie returning in bounds) I noticed she was holding a pen labeled knife behind her back. Without a second to lose, I quickly stabbed her with my own pen labeled knife.

It would appear that Thistle (Sophie Walker) learnt not to mess with The Family, and Vendetta proves again why they earnt the title of Capodecina. Don O’Hare began to wonder whether anyone would be able to take the challenge to this ruthless killer.

Dr Nessuno begins their first kills of the term by felling Amelia Watson (Andrew Browne) and becoming a Capodecina in the process. A very efficient first kill followed by a message which did not concern Don O’Hare:

1 down, 4 to go.

I'm coming for you, O'Hare


The morning was quiet. No gunfire cut across the city. When the silence was broken, Our Lady of Tit Hall terminated it with a double kill, Jen the Fredo and John 1 the unicorn man falling in the street:

The killing of Rachel Lawrence had me asking questions. Why were my friends slaughtered? Why did I hold this gun in my hand? I had heard of a bunch called the Titilian Mafia before. They had fought a few wars around Tit Hall, making a real mess of the place. But I could never be implicated in that sort. I was a Christian. My mother refused to abort me for her belief in the sanctity of life. Now, I was a killer. And no-one leaves the mafia.

I fled the site of the killing, but was confused by the apparition of my dead friend, Sam, alive and repaired. To be killed and reborn - without the aid of Christ! Something was wrong. He informed me that there were more killers on their way. From Medwards. They had been trailing us all morning. He told me to be subtle. Hide the gun. I did not. My head was soaked with blood. I charged at the two and they ran. I shot one, then coursed down Bene't Street after the other. I destroyed them.

After the slaughter, I paused in awe of my capacity. Three killings in just five minutes. The gun was placed into my hand by some invisible master. And I could kill. That was the fastest I had ran in my life.

No-one leaves the mafia. I am in this for life.

Further, the dead were remade. What is done can be undone.

I need a drink!

Junior (Callum Halton) continues to advance in his race to be the best at dying, falling to Amelia Watson near his own headquarters. Amelia Watson decided this was a good opportunity to work on their duelling skills, and took to the fields of the suburbs to duel Vendetta. Although both fired blanks at each other, Algarotti (Samuel Frith) got caught in the crossfire, and like the enemies of The Family perished purely from fear. Later in that day Algarotti (Samuel Frith) also died at the hands of Lv. 100 Boss, who once again showed those fencing skills. Lv. 100 Boss didn’t end there, killing The Business Man (Ayan Shoaib) to gain one more point.

Caprone Della Camorra (Rachel Whiteley) felt very betrayed by Thistle:

Friendship is everything. Friendship is more than talent. It is more than the government. It is almost the equal of family.' -- Don Corleone. Clearly Thistle did not take on from Don Corleone. I was hoping to camminare for a bit through the beautiful greenery of Sorrento, with a maschera and all the obvious precautions of course, as Rona was still paying me a visita. My camminata, however, was interrotta by Thistle, my ex-friend, my former mafia-buddy, my now-enemy. She shot me, just as I was about to leave. TRADIMENTO! I felt the bullet scorch through my cuore, I fell to the terreno, I looked up, just as my occhi were about to close, and saw glaring at me Thistle. With my last respiro I muttered 'la vendetta è un piatto che va consumato freddo'.

A double kill in town for Bugsy Malone who was anything that they wanted to be, making Fat Sam very happy in the process:

Tutto coso sono buono. After a brutal betrayal by our very own cugine yesterday, I had to take out a couple hits on the Don’s trusted associates. You know how it is. Gotta make sure my good name means something. Me, Bugsy Malone. They weren’t no part of the betrayal, but the outcome’s the same. I’ve proven I’m worth more than a violated omertà.

Our Lady of Tit Hall was most displeased with this, and ended Bugsy Malone’s (Rachel Lawrence) streak:

Me and my travelling companions were readying for a gander over to the Fitzwilliam Museum for a delightful look at the portraits, but as we reposed in the shade of a white lorry before King's College, an assailant whirled around the corner and skewered my fellows Angelo and Sam. After briefly praying for their safe passage to Paradise, I charged my pistol and shot the assailant. They were dead. So, too, are my dear friends. Such misfortune, to live in these turbulent times!

Deep in the Titillian Mafia’s headquarters, Thistle (Sophie Walker) attempted to scour some of the offices for any business plans that she could ruin, but Chris Ryan 2.0 ended any chance of gaining useful intel. The Titillian Mafia felt safe for the time being, perhaps now was the moment for their adversaries to strike?

Only metres away, just outside the walls of their headquarters, Don Joe (Calvin Hooper) and Pyrite share an intimate moment, as described by Don Joe:

Shooty shooty with wet boiii gun whilst I was coming up to orgasm bridge. I wasn't thinking particularly hard and mostly just let it happen!

Don O’Hare wants to emphasise that passive consent is never a surefire substitute for active consent, so Pyrite will have a little bounty on their head for this more intimate encounter.

Vendettamogus continued their gentle climb back towards Pyrite’s huge score by slashing Monica Bellucci (Leon Kollar) in electrical, before self-reporting like an absolute madman. Thankfully Red (Don O’Hare) was there to witness it for us:

vendettamogus.mp4 - Google Drive

The Mad Hatter continued their death practice, trying to get all of the deaths out of the way before the killing begins, and Pesadilla reaps the rewards.

Dr Nessuno uses their Capodecina title for extra points in the death of Bloodsport (Amanda Kangai) and chants their way out of the stadium:

Murder Murder Murder

Things began to get easier in the suburbs as the evening progressed, with Lv. 100 Boss ending Junior (Callum Halton) and Lv. 1 Crook killing The Godfather (Wren Cutler) for the final time. Don O’Hare has decided that such cheap kills within that neighbourhood will be rewarded less from now on.

Il bacio della morte ended the day of old friends by killing the friend of a friend, Algarotti (Samuel Frith) dying with relative ease.


In the old days of The Family, Papa O’Hare (father of Don O’Hare) had ruled with a tender touch, and this weakness became his folly. He began to indulge in desires like his motor racing team, almost bankrupting The Family in the process. Don O’Hare ousted him and became the new Capofamiglia, reforming the business to the slick enterprise seen today.

On Wednesday 22nd, Papa O’Hare returned to our beautiful city. Don O’Hare agreed to meet him for the opportunity to rekindle their family bond. Papa O’Hare stepped off the train to a blistering day in the city. On the platform Don O’Hare doffed his hat, and greeted his father:

        “Buongiorno Papa”

        “Buongiorno mio figlio”

The hostility hung in the air. Don O’Hare’s gun was clearly visible in its holster under his arm, he was taking no risks. Papa O’Hare took a look around and could see members of The Family waiting for his arrival.

        “I thought we would be alone”

        “We all need a little security sometimes Papa, you understand how it is”

From the shadows Vito Scaletta and Il bacio della morte stood, sunglasses down and concealing the heat they packed. Dr Nessuno rode by, giving a clear sign of force and presence, and Our Lady of Tit Hall sat casually waiting for the O’Hares to move on.

The searing heat beat down, the O’Hares began to move. Amelia Watson stood on a bridge above their path, watching their approach. With an unmatched presence, Amelia Watson paced down the stairs to follow the pair down the road. The O’Hare entourage would not allow them to be successful in their removal of the threat of Papa O’Hare and Vito Scaletta peppered Amelia Watson (Andrew Browne) with bullets. In a sudden turn, Vito turned to Papa O’Hare and raised his gun, O’Hare tried to run but Vito Scaletta shot true and clean. Next to try on Papa O’Hare was Dr Nessuno who made a successful ride by, and Il bacio della morte followed up with a swift lung puncture.

Across the fields, Junior spotted the O’Hares pausing for a talk on a bench. They ran up behind, firing a single shot into Papa O’Hare, with Don O’Hare returning fire and hitting Junior (Callum Spalton) in the chest.

The O’Hares travelled into town, attempting to escape the clutches of Our Lady of Tit Hall who stalked them down the street and into the twisting back lanes and alleys of the midtown. Behind the lockups, Papa O’Hare and Don O’Hare turned the corner into a narrow lane and Our Lady of Tit Hall used this opportunity to catch up and strike fast, ending Papa O’Hare with a shot to the back.

The O’Hare brothers, miraculously still mobile, headed towards the town centre, and around the side of London Town were ambushed by The Business Man, with the most professional silent backstab. The Business Man turned, realising that the pair were being followed by a distant tail and used the same professionalism to take the lives of Vito Scaletta (Devamitra Acharya) and Il bacio della morte (Kyle McMillan):

Stealthily following Papa O'Hare, to catch any other assassin lacking or looking suspicious, As I was walking through the busy street by King’s, I noticed 2 people acting suspicious around Papa O'Hare, they stepped aside to the other side of the street. I walked up to them with my knife in my pocket and my phone in my hand trying to look like a normal citizen. I approached and pulled the knife on him and killed him right there with minimal noise or disturbance. I like to keep my business clean and efficient.

Across the weir with the sun burning down, Papa and Don O’Hare paused for a small talk. The ducks scattered as Dr Nessuno cruised past, attempting to steal Don O’Hare’s hat, but Don O’Hare saw this foolish attempt coming, and threatened to bury him in lead.

The pair headed south, across the marshes towards the station, now that their business had been concluded. Across the meadows, an armed duo could be seen running to catch them. The O’Hares continued their slow, confident walk into the lower town, turning through the back streets to lose their tail. Turning the corner onto the final stretch before safety, Papa O’Hare was forced against the wall by a shot from Lv. 100 Boss, and Don O’Hare fired a couple of shots down the street to ward him off. The O’Hares now pressed on, trying to reach the safety of the station where the police would intervene in any incidents. Shots rang out down the street, silencing the footsteps of the O’Hares as they ran.

The O’Hares had miraculously survived their meeting, despite many gunshot wounds in Papa O’Hare’s body. Papa O’Hare may have survived, but The Family’s hostility was also clear, and it looks like the possibility of his return to the top has been greatly diminished.

Papa O'Hare

Upon his return to the Villa, Don O’Hare approached his consigliere Mamma Americana.

“You planned this route today! My own father believes I am out to kill him. I had to risk my life to keep him alive. My own father!”

“Ascolta! You threaten us with the return of your Father, he brings nothing but shame to this Family. I did this for you, and our beloved siblings.”

“He is an old man Mamma Americana, he deserves to be where he belongs, in this villa.”

“We can compromise, for now you must concentrate on the game afoot. I will deal with this”


In the morning after Papa O’Hare left Vendetta reported another death in the Homerton Mafia, Monica Bellucci (Leon Kollar) once again perishing at their hands. Tom “Take a peaky behind my blinders” Shelly also used the night time hours to end the life of Over Don Pasta (Claire Lincoln).

In the downtown, Bugsy Malone lured a certain Pyrite (Henry London) out of his room, risking the valuable points and Capodecina title he had earned so far:

La gloriosa ricompensa. Finalmente. Henry London got bricked in the cheek for betraying the family. We can rest easy knowing that payment has been delivered and under the good lord's grace the old chopper squad has regained its onore. Whatever game it is he was playing, sure as eggs is eggs Henry London has been scrambled.

As the sun rose to its peak, Il bacio della morte provided sweet release for Dr Nessuno (Chris Ryan), ending their alliance and becoming a Capodecina in the process. In one massive collapse the Titillian Mafia fell apart, Vito Scaletta backstabbing . (Max Iyengar) as well. It appeared the two were in league, and Vito Scaletta murdered Bugsy Malone (Rachel Lawrence) as she tried to return from her new role as Capodecina, losing it immediately. The rampaging pair then turned on more of the Titillian Mafia, paying a visit to La Furia (Sumei Kinzelbach) and Mastodon (Anna Bayly), taking a kill each, then heading north to seek Mafiangeloso.

The pair arrived at the door of Mafiangeloso’s house, knocking gently. Mafiangeloso opened the door and stood there calmly, no attempt to run.

Vito Scaletta: “Mr Angelo, Don O’Hare sends his regards”

Mafiangeloso (Angelo Kylle Smith) lay on his lawn, neither surprised nor upset, simply ready for death.

Moving into Mafiangeloso’s Titillian Villa, Il bacio della morte left their lipstick mark on Tom “Take a peaky behind my blinders” Shelly (Samuel Andrews), thus killing nearly every ally they had in the game.

Thistle made the last kill of the day, burying Algarotti (Samuel Frith) six feet under after a hit and run right in the centre of the old town. Don O’Hare was very impressed by this efficiency.


The final day of reckoning. Chris Ryan was on the hunt:

There can only be one Chris Ryan.

At the break of dawn Chris Ryan returns to his abode, exhausted and unsuspecting. As Chris Ryan enters the court he is greeted by his family, the Titillian Mafia. Little does Chris Ryan know that Chris Ryan lies in his midst. Chris Ryan is talking with the family when to Chris Ryan’s unenthusiastic surprise, Chris Ryan leaps at Chris Ryan. Chris Ryan battles with himself as to who is worthy of the place of Chris Ryan in the mafia. With one fatal blast, Chris Ryan is no more. Chris Ryan is victorious.

There can only be one Chris Ryan.

Dr Nessuno (Chris Ryan) dies at the hands of Chris Ryan, who staked their claim as the one and only Chris, and earned the bounty on Dr Nessuno’s head as an extra bonus.

Dr Nessuno (Chris Ryan) had a foul night, dying again only hours later to Bugsy Malone who thoroughly soaked him as he slept.

Vendetta made one last defensive kill against Thistle (Sophie Walker) who is spotted approaching with a knife and punctured one last time. Another of our original Capodecina, Lv. 100 Boss (Kishan Zala) got ranked down as The Business Man made one final futile attempt to make it into the final.

Chris Ryan was more successful, they hunted down Bugsy Malone (Rachel Lawrence) after the death of Dr Nessuno. Bugsy Malone was attempting to eliminate Pyrite for a chance to get into the final:

The Chrii stalk out Christ’s in search of Pyrite. Meanwhile Bugsy Malone awaits Pyrite by his room. Pyrite crawls down the creaking staircase in search of refuge but looming at the bottom is death. Pyrite, fearing the worst, flees death, like a rabbit at the barrel of a gun, and vanishes into the wilderness. The Chrii allies with Bugsy Malone to hunt Pyrite down but when the mission bears forth no fruit Chris Ryan shoots Bugsy and walks off into the night. Meanwhile Pyrite walks back to his staircase where death still awaits.

It was on Pyrite’s (Henry London) attempted return to his staircase that death awaited. Amelia Watson leapt from the shadows, felling him as the ghost of Bugsy Malone watched on. Amelia Watson may not have made the final, but as one of Don O’Hare’s longest serving and most dedicated Uomini D’Onore, knew they could be satisfied with their business.

Chris Ryan was now desperate to make the final duel, and ran back towards the Titillian headquarters, to brutally shower Our Lady of Tit Hall (Reuben Baldwin) with a hail of bullets. This was the final clincher, and with 5 minutes to go Chris Ryan sprinted to safety to wait for the game to finish:

The clock is ticking. Time is short. The chrii return to their lair after an unsuccessful hunt. There is one option left. Betrayal.

They hunt out and shoot member of the Titillian family. Our Lady of Tit Hall is no more.

The bells chimed across the city. We were almost at peace. One last event to be held: The Final Duel at Don O’Hare’s villa.


The time was set. As the bell tolled 3 times, the game would begin.

The duelling ground was varied, across the front of Don O’Hare’s villa. An escarpment bordered one edge, providing high ground for any brave enough to expose themselves. A path to the East and West marked the edges of the playing area, with the villa to the north an imposing upper wall.

The Don sat in his deck chair on the veranda, his Associates and Uomini D’Onore in attendance poised on the balcony to watch this, the most decisive of duels. Amongst those present, Don Alhambra, the ex-Capodecina and Bugsy Malone the thorn in the Titillian Mafia’s side.

On the third chime the game would begin. Of the six contestants, only one couldn’t be there: Chris Ryan had been called away on urgent business so had sent their apologies.

Vendetta stood to the West, the prime location being given to them for their high score and for having escaped death for the whole game.

The three remaining members of the Titillian Mafia stood in the centre, Vito Scaletta and Il bacio della morte having disbanded their recent alliance now that the time came to prove themselves in front of the Don. Dr Nessuno had been gifted his place for an honourable stunt pulled on Don O’Hare, which had appeased the capofamiglia in Dr Nessuno’s skills as a great negotiator. To the East stood Pyrite, who’s connections in the arms dealing industry had set him up as the biggest threat to the other players from the beginning.

The first bell chimed. The battlefield became silent. Don O’Hare stood from his chair, leaving his suit jacket behind and tugging his waistcoat into place.

The second bell.
Pyrite’s gun rattled in the breeze that swept in from the East. Vito Scaletta tensed, the eyes of Vendetta upon him fixed in an inescapable glare.

The third bell.

Dr Nessuno fired a shot towards Pyrite and descended the embankment towards the villa, with Il bacio della morte in hot pursuit, chasing him down and firing a single shot into his back. With Dr Nessuno (Chris Ryan) down in the dirt, Il bacio della morte searched the body for weapons and found what he was looking for, the hand crafted revolver Dr Nessuno had fondly carried for years.

Across the battlefield, Vendetta was firing his tommy gun at the cowering Vito Scaletta who slid down the escarpment to dodge the incoming fire. Pyrite began to catch Vito Scaletta in a crossfire, and Vito became pinned to the embankment with shrapnel exploding either side of him.

Il bacio della morte approached Pyrite from below, and hit both his legs with two well aimed shots. With Pyrite wounded, Vito Scaletta pinned and Vendetta closing in, it looked like the fight would be between Vendetta and Il bacio della morte. Vendetta ended Vito Scaletta’s (Devamitra Acharya) misery, a bullet striking him down the escarpment to the stream down below.

Pyrite now rose, and began to hobble through the pain towards Vendetta. The rage in his eyes as he levelled his gun and fired, missed, fired, missed again and then fired once more. Each shot hit truer than the last, and from the villa Don O’Hare saw Vendetta (Ben Syiek) crumple and fall. His first death in the whole game. Don O’Hare was startled, and began to walk down the steps to see the final two battle to the death.

Pyrite fired potshots from above and Il bacio della morte watched dozens of bullets throw up the dust around him, but none hit home. The telltale siren of Pyrite’s gun became the only sound on the battlefield. He knew he only had two shots left in the barrel, but one would be enough. Il bacio della morte locked his eyes. This was the end. Pyrite, legs burning, pulled the trigger, and Il bacio della morte (Kyle McMillan) fell to the ground.

Don O’Hare, now watching from the top of the embankment, began to clap a slow applause.

“My son. Pyrite. You appease both your Don and The Family. You are worthy of this honour”

Pyrite (Henry London) climbed the bank. Don O’Hare grasped his hand.

“This ring is yours in reward for your dedication, but I have one last order of business for you: terminate Alessandro Corcese, be it the last thing you do”


The rain hammered down in the cemetery. By the mausoleum, Don O’Hare looked solemnly into the priest’s eyes. The standard umbrellas were kept folded out of respect. The Family had lost too much.

Among their dead, names such as Junior, Jinnie Fay, bob, Bugsy Malone, Algarotti, Lv. 100 Boss, Dmoter, Over Don Pasta, Lv. 1 Crook, Thistle, Amelia Watson, Caprone Della Camorra and Monica Bellucci, to mention but a very few.

“If my father were here to see us today he would say ‘My boy, Niente che valga la pena di avere è facile (Nothing worth having comes easy),’ and he would be right. Your dedication to our game proves this, and I have the greatest faith in all of you and your dedication to The Family.

Our new hitman has earned his place through hard work, and all of you with us today are just as bound to the business as he. Quel ch’è fatto, è fatto (What’s done is done), and our fallen friends are a small price to pay for the strength we maintain together.”

The priest said his prayers, and they turned to leave. Pyrite stood over the grave a minute longer to say his own devotions:

“My dear Family, Don O’Hare hurt us all with this conspiracy. I vow to avenge all of you and set right what he has done wrong.”

Don O’Hare sat in the car waiting, and Pyrite joined him inside, the rain battering the roof.

“I am an old man Pyrite, an old man playing a young man’s game. One day you will understand why what has happened here has come to pass.”

Pyrite said nothing, and the car crawled across the gravel out of the graveyard, back to the Villa and to the future of The Family.

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