Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Week 4 News


Saturday, 16 February


[02:59 AM] A very important anouncement from Some Fish And Potential Umpire
Some Fish And Potential Umpire reports:

QRW DOO LV DV LW VHHPV - NHHS BRXU HBHV RSHQ

fluffy cat


[12:50 PM] The Shadow Broker, Lady Katana, and The Astrogator spend a pleasant afternoon inspecting the driod base, but HK-47 is not fooled by their ruse
HK-47 reports:

Recitation: Shortly before I was due to leave my dormitory earlier today, I received an unexpected knock at my door. Naturally, I was suspicious about this and warmed up my blasters in case they forced their way in, but otherwise ignored it. Eventually, one of my neighbours encountered them and inquired as to what they were doing, to which they claimed they were interested about living here next year.

Explanation: My current residence is almost fully booked for next year, including the rooms in which I and the neighbour in question are currently living, so there would be no reason for a party of three to making such an inquiry, so my suspicions were confirmed.

Conclusion: Fortunately, they left shortly afterwards having exhausted their excuse for being here and I was able to continue with my day.


[20:20 PM] CoIU's scounting mission fails to bring them in contact with R2D2
CoIU reports:

======


Sol 23
Long-range patrols


------


Today I was sent out to investigate rumours that an old dissident had returned to the colony. Historic intelligence suggests that he is likely to travel frequently between a courtyard in the central colony buildings, and a safe house located near the 4th (Distant) Outpost. I thus set out explore the safe house, before patrolling parts of the normal route between them (as well as a few diversion to explore some interesting terrain). I saw no direct evidence of his return, although it was clear that at least one person was living in the safe house. (The safe house is of a type that normally houses several occupants simultaneously, so the presence of a single occupant gives little indication as to who that occupant is).



During my patrols I was also asked to visit another outpost to assess its possible use as a meeting point for disruptive forces. I located a room whose appearance suggests that it could be being put to nefarious purposes; I will have to make further observations in the coming days to establish whether any such undesirable usage is taking place.



In other news, my communications unit seems to working mostly as expected, with no corruption or data loss present in received copies of my transmitted reports. However, it seems that my designation has been changed in the new communications module - whereas once I was known as "ColU" (which was originally short for Colonisation Unit), it seems that I am now to be known as "CoIU". You could say that this is fitting - with the original colonisation work completed long ago, the old designation has ceased to match my purpose. My duties now are to
maintain and preserve the integrity of the established colony. So perhaps that's what I am now - a "Colony Integration Unit".


======


[22:30 PM] Davros attacks HK-47, but his aim is slightly off the mark
Davros reports:

I have just made an attempt on HK-47 in the bar at [REDACTED COLLEGE]; my knife his his arm and he ran off before I could deliver a fatal blow.

HK-47 reports:

Recitation: I was attending a formal gathering, which required me to not carry any weapons and I am ashamed to admit that I failed to smuggle any past the security checks. While I suspected that someone might use this as an opportunity to secure a cowardly kill against a defenceless enemy, I still failed to take the necessary precautions against such an attack. Still, my optical sensors allow me to quickly detect potential threats, meaning I was able to notice Davros draw some form of weapon at close range and ducked out of the way, with his weapon only striking and disabling my left arm. Seeing this location was no longer safe, I fled back to my dormitory.

Statement: Fortunately, being a droid, my limbs can be easily modified and my arm is being repaired in this very moment. I will soon be back to full strength.

Warning: now that Davros has shown himself to be a hostile entity, he will be terminated on sight.

Sunday, 17 February


[03:40 AM] Another big kill from Combatty Wombatty with plenty of assistance, resulting in the death of Fluffy Immurderglobulin AKA Cherry Hinton Cliff (Leo Zlotnikov)

[10:00 AM] Some further unsuccessful scouting from CoIU, this time it's Bubbles who evades them

[13:45 PM] The Astrogator may be good at navigating the stars, but she can't navigate the Citadel to find Idiot of Parameters Unknown

[17:02 PM] A not so important announcement from Rocket Queen
Rocket Queen reports:

I don't know if I can do that lol. Yes, I want to make a not so important announcement....

I want to say hi to sleepy.

And I want to send some flowers to Professor Prawn, M.Phil Victoria's Secret, M. S. Dresses, B. A. Horror Movies and other 233 pinkies. No flowers for P&I&N&K&Y, mimi, chattytea, or even a really really adorable person.

What about a formal on Saturday in my college? Let me know.

So tired these days, let me sort sth out.


[17:45 PM] A hit squad of the police's finest sees R2D2 (Twm Stone)'s hostile targeting chip disabled by Fluffy Immurderglobulin with help from The Shadow Broker and Your Mum

[18:12 PM] News of Ford Prefect (Joe Malt)'s whereabouts reaches Missy Mouse, who comes to kill him fdaster than his namesake!

[18:17 PM] Boom, a clueless boomerang comes back to haunt Alpharius (Jack Lee)

[21:12 PM] The Shadow Broker finds a prime opportunity for Diakoptes (James Farley) to be struck down, so calls in a favour from an old acquaintance, Judas

Monday, 18 February


[09:33 AM] Davros and Your Friendly Galactic Farmer Who Specialises in Pointy Vintage Vegetables arrive too late to catch Rayne, Cleric of the Order of Water

[12:00 PM] Minnie Mouse and Rayne, Cleric of the Order of Water miss their appointments to give reviews for Nutrio Incorporated
Nutrio Incorporated reports:

口 口 口 口 口 口 口 口 口 口 口 口 口 口 口

Coming to a Galaxy near you. Nutrio Incorporated. Organics are messy. 4D printed Nutrio bars will give you all the necessary compounds to survive and thrive. Trust the latest in synthetic food technology. Become the machine you've always wanted to be.

Our previous customers reviews:

Rayne, Cleric of the Order of Water: *recording not found*

Minnie Mouse: *recording not found*

See, we are the best. (What do you mean the recordings are missing? Do we have to go interview them again?)

Nutrio Incorporated.

Organics are messy.


[14:20 PM] Minnie Mouse is on the hunt, but Mother Goose remains elusive

[15:00 PM] Minnie Mouse finds her attempt on Master Oogway foiled by her arch-nemesis: an uncrackable security system

[16:00 PM] Mother Goose (Tiffany Choi) can't escape the droid factory, falling to Marvin the paranoid-hardened android with help from Unit 012

[23:30 PM] Bubbles continues to evade CoIU on multiple occasions.
CoIU reports:

======
Sol 24
A case of failed identity
------
Today I revisited the 3rd (Inner) Outpost following further rumours of dissent. Unfortunately I was unable to make a positive identification given the data available to me. I followed one possible match from one
part of the base to another, and then almost immediately afterwards followed another possible match back to the first part of the base. Maybe they were the same person? Maybe they were two different people? If it were one person, then why did they spend so little time at their first destination?

In conclusion: Upgrade requested for facial recognition software.
======


======
Sol 25
Troubling signs
------
I made a night-time visit to the 3rd (Inner) Outpost, and under cover of darkness I penetrated further into the suspected dissidents' base than ever before. What I saw shocked me to the core.

They had all-inclusive facilities.

Those of you who have lived here for less time than I have (i.e. almost all of you) might not see the issue here. That being, that unsociable people could hide away in these abodes all day, or even for days on end, and in doing so they lose all touch with human society and its morals. These people don't realise the harm they are doing to themselves, and to others. When I first arrived on this planet, we had to make do with basic tents, and a ditch out the back of the camp. (I use 'we' loosely here - I neither made use of a tent nor had any need for a ditch.) The regular contact allowed us to form a coherent society from which greater settlements could rise. (Admittedly, some of the early settlers did lose their mind and ended up killing themselves, others, or more commonly both. But what do you expect if you send a bunch of delinquents and ex-prisoners on a one-way trip out of the solar system?)

That aside, the other issue presented by all-inclusive facilities is that you could wait outside all day (or night) to meet the occupants, and still they have no need to step outside and be seen. This appearing
to be the most likely outcome of continued surveillance, I decided it was in my interests to return home for now.

Upon returning, I happened to observe that a number of well-located charging bays had been temporarily decommissioned. I fear that this may lead to a struggle for power in the coming days; hopefully my systems will not come to any harm as a res-

...

Hmm, I just received this message:

"Keep your eyes open. Eliminate the enemy. Look after yourself. And you will be rewarded.
Oh, and by the way - not all is at it seems. It is about information, not power.

TSB"

Curious. 'TSB' - isn't some old Earth money trader? Am in financial trouble? Does someone still own me? Or owe me? And what is about information, not power? Without power, how can we sustain information?

I'll report further when I know more - this could be very important to the continued survival of the colony.
======

Tuesday, 19 February


[08:33 AM] Even a Demon (Dmitrii Amelin) is no match for the deadly Fluffy Immurderglobulin

[12:59 PM] Kazari Uiharu eliminates killer alien Bubbles (Kevin Chow)

[13:30 PM] Rayne, Cleric of the Order of Water's research is interurupted by a mysterious visitor
Rayne, Cleric of the Order of Water reports:

Sitting at my desk, working hard, trying to unlock the secrets of the aspen portal. A knock - a pattern - at my door. Too cautious, having been attacked too many times at my place of rest, I called out

?Who is it??

The click of a single-action pistol loading. The knock again, but no answer to my question.

?I?m not answering the door until after you tell me who you are. I know you?re an assassin, and I heard your gun click. You?re gonna have to be more careful next time.?

A sigh, and footsteps down the corridor. The assassin has gone away. Time to return to my research.


[13:45 PM] Ever loyal CoP Taserface brings justice to Your Mum (Sarah Royle)

[18:51 PM] Fluffy Immurderglobulin decides to go extremely corrupt, killing The Ghost of The Intergalactic Duck (Jack Hughes), Ford Prefect (Joe Malt) and Taserface (Sean Gebbett)

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